Welcome To FMOOAE

Zach, Animal Herder

'Get out, Lanton! Get out!' Yelled Amy.

Hilton crawled to his feet after she'd ushered the dog out of the room. Coughing and patting at his dripping wet shirt, he seemed ready to cry. 'The thing peed in my mouth! Can you believe that?'

There were many things Zach couldn't believe about his morning so far. And now he didn't know whether to sit down or walk out. Then Amy came back.

'Sorry about that.'

'It's alright,' Zach answered, keeping one eye on the door. 'Should I return another day?'

'No need.' Answered Hilton, removing his warm, soggy tie.

Amy shook her head. 'What my colleague means to say is you're hired. It was a close race, but we're confident you're the man for the job.'

Hilton made a choking sound. 'The race is easy when you're the only one running.'

Zach flushed red, and Hilton did as well; he'd not realised he'd spoken aloud.

'The volunteer, Clifford, was correct about one thing, Zach. The museum opens for twenty-four hours some nights, so I hope you're not afraid of the dark.'

'Or wild demon cattle.' Hilton added, trying his best to change the topic.

Zach smiled. 'I think I'll live.'

'Excellent,' applauded Amy. 'Now, I hear that the llamas have broken out of their enclosure again, so we'll need you to help Loftus bring them home.'

'Loftus?'

Hilton pointed at the nearby wall as if that would somehow give Zach all the direction he'd need. 'The man lives in a log hut behind the museum, and his furry creatures mutiny every day. Honestly, Zach, I once found one of his Llamas in our café kitchen.'

'We even had two bolt through the museum doors three weeks ago,' Amy added. 'Munching and spitting, they tried to eat the shop stationary before moving on to coats and bags. Yes, the visitors wearing them weren't thrilled about it either.'

'Which way again?'

Amy and Hilton led Zach back to the museum entrance, and as Hilton slowly opened the door, he glanced from left to right.

'Clifford's gone, isn't he?'

'Clifford,' Amy uttered his name like a curse. 'The nuisance won't have gone home. He'll have driven his buggy around the block, maybe even gone to pick up his friend, Poo Bag Peggy, and he'll be waiting until we open to the public before making another move.'

'But, I thought he vowed never to return.'

Hilton laughed. 'As a volunteer perhaps. Coming back as a visitor is another matter. Clifford likes to wear disguises to throw off suspicion.'

'You've got to be kidding.'

Amy grinned. 'Remember the toupee incident? The guy came in a few years ago with a red hairpiece five times the size of his head and painted on rosy-red cheeks. We couldn't tell if he was going for a Victorian-era look or whether he wanted to be a clown.'

The chuckling pair stopped. There were rumbling car engines in the distance, followed by more than one clunk of doors slamming. Then Hilton inhaled as he noticed the second hand of the hanging wall clock strike twelve. 'We've got to get opened up. Zach, turn left out of here onto the old mud track. It'll take you behind the museum where you'll find Loftus.'

Amy wandered behind the desk. 'Or worst case, his dog, Lanton, will find you first.'

Zach shook his head and walked out the open door. In his haste to make the interview on time, he'd not had the chance to appreciate the countryside scents of hay, freshly mown grass and manure, but he did so now, and it was almost pleasant.