The horror of love

The horror of love 2

Chapter 2
Meeting him.

It was scary at first, meeting him. Of course it was he was a beast, a demon, and any sane human would have ran away screaming. But not me. I stood there rooted to the spot, my feet were cemented into the ground and my eyes were fixed on him, unable to look away. It was him, the man in my dreams. With his disfigured ghastly grey face, and teeth that stuck out in yellowy awkward angles. His knuckles were strong and veiny purple, and his feet were large matching his broad physique. He stood at a height at around seven foot but he was hunched down slightly towards me, and his pupils a milky white with deep, dark eyes that spared no light.

It was a shock just seeing him there, knowing that he wasn't just a made up tormentor in my head, but real. He was just like in my dreams, and I knew it at first glance. I could still feel him running towards me at the back of my mind, I could feel how shaky and scared I was every time I saw him running to hunt me down again-with a knife. Was he real, or just part of my imagination, were my parents right, and was I really going delusional? He faced me, he too looked slightly afraid, nothing like the monstrous animal I dreamt him to be. Then he looked puzzled, as if he knew I should have been screaming by now, as if he had seen many people faint even at the sight of him. But not me, I had seen his purplish broken face before, I had seen every line on his forehead and every teeth in his bruised mouth. His hair, although slightly messy had nothing supernatural about it at all, it was a dark colour, soft and shaggy shaping his strong jaw line.

Yes, he did look distorted. And yes he didn't look normal, but there was something charming about his crooked smile and darting eyes as he studied me. I felt small, and helpless next to the largeness of him, so afraid but unable to speak, I couldn't dare speak. I was still frozen in my own fear.
'Hello.'
He said, one word and it threw me totally off guard. I wasn't expecting that, just a polite hello. Not just that but the tone of his voice was soft, quiet, somehow warm even though his skin looked so cold, and paler than my own. I stared at him, still amazed. He looked at me expectantly, and somehow I had to build up the courage to mumble an answer.

'Hello.' I said back, my voice was raised slightly higher than usual, but this was enough for him, so he went and sat down on a wooden stall behind him, wanting to give me some space.
'But,' I mumbled, 'what are you?'

He didn't say anything for a moment, as he thought.
'I don't really know. I was abandoned as a child, as I had never met my parents. So I really don't know.' Then he was quiet again, as he waited for more questions to burst out of me. He now wore a more calm demeanour and looked at me, like he had never seen anyone in years.
'Um...so do you live round here. In the forest I mean.'
He shifted his weight on the stool, and looked around. 'Well yes. I have for a long time.' He said awkwardly. 'It's more peaceful here. Nicer, you know. And well, safer for someone like me.'
Yeah, I could understand that. Someone like him in the real world would not survive. It's funny how we're always so afraid of monsters and people who look different, when it's us ourselves who are the real monsters, we would inflict danger on them out of fear, before a simple hello.

I looked at him some more, but there was nothing more to question.
'This may be weird but I know you, I've seen you before, in one of my dreams. Or should I say nightmares.' I added.
He raised one eyebrow intrigued.
'I know it's silly. And right now it doesn't seem like you want to hurt me. Well I hope.'

He shook his head, sullenly. 'I may look like a monster but inside I still have a heart.' He reassured me. 'What was I doing in this dream of yours?'

'Err, you were um, chasing me. With a... um... with a knife.'

He looked at me intrigued again. 'And you're sure this was me?'

'Absolutely. It was strange seeing you here, I thought you were part of my imagination just trying to scare me again, until you spoke and I knew you were real and not a threat. You just had one of those kinds of voices.'

'What kind?'

'You know the one that mothers use to tell their child, their safe. The calm, kind sort, and even thought it was a shock, when you spoke I felt better.'

He laughed, 'so I remind you of a mother.'

'That's not exactly what...' I started, blushing pinker with embarrassment.

'Then I'm happy that my voice was so calming to you, otherwise you might have ran away before we could have talked.' He responded, ' I am happy I have met you...'

'Talia.'

'Talia. What a beautiful name,' he said curiously, ' I knew a Talia once, nothing like you of course. But a good hundred years ago, we were as a thick as thieves together.'

'What happened?' I asked deciding not to question that he was probably much older than I thought.

'A story for another time I'm afraid.' I could sense on his face some sort of heartache for this girl, so I decided not to press further.

He then said, 'That is if you return I suppose. I have seen you round here for a while now, don't let the sight of me keep you from coming back here.' He said as if he couldn't bare another second alone.
'Forgive me, it's just it's been a while since I've felt safe enough to talk to another human. I just can't risk being found out about. Can I trust you?'

'Yes.' I said immediately, he was safe. I found myself not wanting to hurt him, and I could tell that he saw the trust in my eyes as well.

I looked at my watch, suddenly remembering the time.

'I should get back, my mum would notice I'm gone by now,' I said. Then as he started to leave I added, 'wait, what's your name?'

'Matthieu.'

'Goodbye, Matthieu.' I called out to him. As I weaved between the familiar bushes I went through to get here. I guess I could share my safe space with someone else who also felt safe within it. For once in a long time, I looked forward to going home, as it meant tomorrow I could wake up and see him again. I wasn't afraid I felt connected to him unlike with anyone else before, I needed him and he needed me.