The Madonna, The Virgin, and The Whore

Chapter Thirty-Two

My mouth curled up and I was certain that Jasper could see the mischievous glint in my expression. He must've known what was coming yet he stood there, prepared for it. "I know why I don't want anything serious." I looked up at him from beneath my wet lashes and whispered, "But you said you can't. Why can't you?"

Jasper didn't say anything for a minute. His arms were still locked around me but I could feel the hesitation in him. His body hardened as if his walls went up. I recognized it. It was something I was familiar with.

"Erin," he sighed my name in frustration and I knew I was pushing it. Jasper had made it more than clear that the subject was off limits; unfortunately this only spurred me on.

"You said three questions," I reminded him, still hoping that he'd answer.

He found my eyes and held them with his own. "Okay, I'll make a deal with you." He adjusted his arms around me and I got distracted for a moment by the feel of them against me. "Let me ask my three questions and if you answer all three of them, I'll answer yours."

"You're making this all very mysterious. You know it's only making me want to know more, right?" I boldly brought my lips to his and gave him a light kiss. "But if that's how you want to play it... Fine. Ask your questions."

Jasper smiled and drew his head a bit back from mine. "You ready for this college girl?" I nodded confidently; I didn't think there was anything Jasper could ask me that I couldn't handle.

"What do you do for fun?"

I raised an eyebrow. This was his question. "I think it's already been determined that I don't do anything for fun."

"That can't be true."

"I study, I run, I go to work, and I go to meets. That's pretty much my life."

"You don't sound thrilled about that."

"Is that another question?"

He shook his head. "Just a statement."

"I guess I'm not. I spent my whole life trying to get out of this town and move onto something better. I never stopped and appreciated what I had. A father. My sisters. My best friend. I was so focused on moving on that I never took a breath. Now," I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, "now after my dad; I don't want to end up like he did-- hiding himself from the world. I think I've been doing that."

Jasper lifted his hand and brushed back some of my wet hair. "You're certainly not hiding now."

I glanced down at my barely covered chest and blushed. He was right though. I had let myself out of my own cage and it felt good. I smiled and looked up at him.

"Next question."

"Tell me about this best friend of yours."

"That's not a question."

Jasper's mouth twitched. "Okay, how about this. Who's your best friend Erin?"

I knew where this was headed. Not a single boy I'd ever dated understood my relationship with Will. Most of them couldn't get past it. I hated the idea of Jasper having an issue with it too. But then I reminded myself that he couldn't; we weren't serious. Jasper didn't want serious. Will wasn't any kind of threat to him.

"His name is Will and we've known each other since we were ten."

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "A guy?"

I tried not to let my trepidation show as I nodded my head. "Yup, a guy."

"So your best friend's a guy and you never dated, or hooked up, or anything?"