MASON AND SAGE

Chapter 6 ~ Sage

He'd looked at me after I'd stopped talking about my work as a physician's assistant, embarrassed that I got so caught up in describing what I did. Mason had smiled at me and pulled me close. "You're incredible," he'd whispered into my ear and I'd believed him.

That letter went facedown on top of the first one, and I opened the third one.

The first time you told me you wanted five children, I didn't even think about it. All I could picture was you, round and beautiful with my child growing inside you, and I was all hell yes, sign me right the fuck up. Never before in my life had I thought about having children, but suddenly I could picture a noisy house, filled with love and our children and most importantly, you, and it became my dream, too. 

Honestly, it had been a test. I'd known since I was a young girl that I wanted a very large family, so I'd told Mason early on in our relationship how many children I wanted. He'd paused for a moment, looking off into the distance as a smile curved his lips, then he'd leaned close and said he'd give me as many babies as I wanted.

I kept opening letter after letter, all of them short, all of them recalling a different memory that made me think about the memory from my point of view.

Remember the first time we tried to make pizza together...

The first time I made love to you,...

After our first date, I went home and knew my life would never be the same. And I didn't want it to be...

I stayed up past midnight until I'd read each letter, the process slowed by the memories he evoked with his words. Admittedly, I hadn't smiled this much since a certain alleyway incident, and I wasn't sure I should be remembering all of our past fondly. It should all be tainted by what he'd done with Eva -- I had to keep reminding myself of that -- but somehow, she couldn't touch those memories we'd built together.

Every day that week, when a new letter came, I'd eagerly open it, and then I'd add it to the pile of letters, and re-read all of them. Every single night. Maybe I shouldn't have allowed myself to stroll down Memory Lane, but it was the only thing that eased the ache inside of me. Thinking of him writing these, reliving our good times together made me feel closer to him. We had had a beautiful, close, loving relationship...until we hadn't. 

Did his one action negate our months together, all of our happy times together? Could a person really make a mistake like he had without it meaning something? Could I ever believe in him, in his love for me, again? Did I believe I was really the woman he wanted, or would I always be wondering if he secretly held Eva in his heart?

He had explained to me why he hadn't deleted her contact, and I found I could believe his reasoning because men could be really stupid -- and honestly, it was a known truth that they didn't think about things the same way we women did.

 But did I believe him about the kiss? That it meant nothing to him, that it happened due to a perfect storm of grief and drinking and reliving old times?

I sighed as the doorbell rang and realized it was time for Carl to bring my dinner from Mason. I looked out the peephole and saw the usual note scrawled on the brown paper bag.

 Sage's supper. I miss you so much and I love you even more, forever and always ~ Mason

Tonight there was a little heart drawn after Mason's name, so I was grinning as I opened the door, ready to greet Carl.

But when the paper bag was lowered, Mason stood there, a soft smile on his face.

"Hi, kitten," he said.