Vital

with one phone call

and just like that -
with one phone call
I've accepted a world without you in it 
because I have no other option


and there's another one of my sisters
to be lost somewhere in time
where they don't get older
but I continue to tread through life


and the sad thing is that we weren't close
you spent twelve years of my life behind bars -
and as a kid, I'd write you letters and you'd send me art
but I got older, and the letters got harder to write


there is no longer the chance
to bond, to grow closer, to bridge the gap
to laugh over the antics and quirks of our dad
we made the mistake of thinking there's more time


and you know how dad presents himself
even through age, he would wage wars
but I see one brewing behind his eyes this time
it's the second time in my life I've ever seen him cry


he wishes you would have called more
that you would have made the effort
- and I'm not really sure why you didn't
maybe we both suffered the same scars


anyway, I'm writing you this letter
- and I know it's a little too late
to tell you that I wish I had more memories of us
and if I ever felt cold, it was really just shame