BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Pre-debut Years

Chapter 10- Crying

*Disclaimer - mention of suicide

January 12th, 2013:

I hadn't been able to speak to Youngmi the day after I opened up to the group because she had left the dorm early to study with classmates for a test and she had been late to our practice and left right after we were done, not giving me the chance to catch her on her own. She also wasn't in the dorm that night. Everyone that texted and called her were getting just one reply of "I'm fine". She might say she was fine, but I was getting worried. The whole group was worried. Usually, Youngmi stayed late to continue to practice, and she's never been late. She also never went home to stay with her parents, given her bad relationship with them.

I had my therapy session in the morning, Seokjin had come with me this time, and I was currently sitting with Jiyoung, Taehyung, and Jungkook eating lunch in the dance studio. Usually, Youngmi would be with us, we always practiced or talked the 5 of us at lunch on Saturdays.

"I'm getting worried. Youngmi was the one that was always working, never stopping to even eat properly. Should we report this to like the company, or the police?" Taehyung says worriedly.

"But what if she gets punished for her absence, or they might see it as her slacking off. I don't want to see her get in trouble with the company, or her parents, you know how they are," replies Jiyoung honestly.

"But what if she's done something, something bad. Remember her breakdown right before Christmas? And then she spent 2 days with her horrible parents, and she hasn't been the same ever since Christmas, more reserved, less confident. Have you guys noticed it too?" I say.

"I noticed it as well. I just thought it was "her time of the month", you know," says Jungkook.

"Seriously Jungkook? 'Her time of the month'? If we're going to be stereotypical Youngmi becomes more vocal during her periods, not more subdued," Jiyoung says a little dismayed at Jungkook's statement.

"Sorry," Jungkook says looking down, "girls are so weird. I'll never understand them," he whispers.

"Well, I have to go finish some homework before our practice tonight, I'll see you guys," Jiyoung says before getting up and leaving, "let me know if you get any news about her".

Taehyung, Jungkook, and I stayed behind to work on our vocal performance. We had teamed up as a unit for the monthly assessment. After roughly half an hour of practice, we took a break. I went over to my phone and saw 4 missed called from Jiyoung and Namjoon and several texts telling me to call them, the boys had the same. I quickly dialed Jiyoung's number, she answered on the first ring.

"Oh my god, Y/N!" Jiyoung was crying, speaking in between cries, "Youngmi, she, she... she died, Y/N," wails Jiyoung.

I was shocked. Dead. I had actually become quite close with her, she was a tough girl, but very loyal and trustworthy to her friend group, which I had slowly become a part of. The boys were looking at me curiously, confused as to what was going on.

"What do you mean? Like for real? What happened?" I puzzle, struggling to understand.