The Art of Bullshit

Chapter 6 - The Second Big Bang

"Most importantly love,
at the end of the day all this
means nothing.
This page,
where you're sitting,
your degree,
your job,
the money.
Nothing even matters
except love and human connection.
Who you loved
and how deeply you loved them."
____________________________________

"You're an enigma Asher Jade."

Those words kept ringing inside Asher's head for reasons she was not yet aware of. 'You're an enigma Asher Jade' 'You're an enigma Ash-' 'You're an enigma-'

"Oh my god."
'Well mine, she's an...enigma to say the least.'

"Oh my fucking god."
You're an enigma Asher Jade.'

"It can't be, there's no fucking way."
Well Asher's an enigma, to say the least.

"She - it's not fucking possible, it's not-it's fuck!"

I have to go.

~

"You can't go out with Nathan." Asher demanded as soon as she was in Taylor's personal space.

Taylor shut the book she was reading, counting to three in her mind before releasing a long breath to grit out, "Why not?"

"You know you're not interested in him."
"That's not true. He likes me. I like him. It's that fucking simple Asher."
"You're not making it simple! You know you don't like him so stop lying!"
"Why would I fucking lie!?"

"Because you're in love with me you asshole!"

Taylor's heart dropped, her mouth falling open as she struggled to form words. "What?" she whispered.

"I said you're in love with me that's why."

Taylor quickly tried to pull herself together as she defensively answered. "What would give you that fucking idea!?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe because I'm an enigma or maybe it's just because I'm so so dumb?"

"Okay..." Taylor chuckled nervously. "I don't know what kind of drugs you're on but you would be the last person I'd fall in love with!"
"Or is that what you've been telling yourself the past nine years because it hurts your pride?"
"I know you have some self esteem issues but not for one second think that I feel any sort of way towards you."

No matter how many hurtful words escaped her mouth, Asher wasn't letting that break her confident stance. Not today. Trust her, it was hard.

"Ha-" Asher scoffed. "I knew you were a fucking coward but not enough to lie to my face after you confessed your love for me just a few nights ago!"

"I wasn't talking about you!"

"Try again."

"Fine." Taylor spat out after a hard minute, giving up and looking away.
"Fine what?"

"Fine I'm in love with you, you dipshit."

Asher gasped lightly, losing her confident facade in a second. "I..I really didn't think- I didn't know-"

It was Taylor's turn to scoff.

"Obviously you couldn't have fucking known that I was in love with you because you were too busy falling in love with someone else! And you did a good fucking job convincing other people that you liked me and I-" She laughed through the pain. "I almost fell for it! And you know what? It hurt when I realized that you weren't ever going to love me but what was worse was seeing you fall in love with someone else right in front of me. I don't.. I don't even know who I am anymore. Fuck, I'm sorr- but I- God you're in my head even when you're not supposed to be and it shouldn't be this hard to let go! But after everything, all of this-" She gestured to the space in between them. "I still fucking love you! But.. I'm-" She shook her head, pursing her lips to stop the feeling of an anxiety attack coming through.