Secrets

29 | hadley

I walk into first period the following morning surprised to find Mason and Sloane appearing to be engaged in deep conversation.

I eye the two skeptically as I wander toward my seat–conveniently placed between the girls–wondering to myself what they could possibly have to discuss.

I fall into my desk chair just as Mason exhales a burst of laughter, which leaves me furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"Hey, Hads!" Mason exclaims, bringing attention to my appearance.

"Hi," Sloane murmurs shyly. I acknowledge her greeting with a forced smile, quickly turning around in my seat to face Mason. I question her intentions with a stare that screams what's going on here?

Mason purses her lips. "Sloane and I were just talking about you."

I glance at Sloane out of the corner of my eye. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, um"–Sloane speaks up–"I was just telling Mason about how terrified you used to be of driving. Do you remember how I would give you driving lessons in our neighborhood, and you crashed into that trash can?"

Mason tries (and fails) to suppress another fit of giggles.

I shrug nonchalantly. "Vaguely."

Sloane's expression falls. I'm lying, and we both know it. Of course I remember what she has mentioned. It just feels wrong to indulge in the memories I've made with Sloane now that I'm dating Devon–I'm more comfortable acting as if I've forgotten.

Bianca enters the room, soon occupying the empty space next to me. I excuse myself from further conversing with Mason or Sloane, instead turning my attention to Bianca and striking up small talk with her.

I drift in and out of my thoughts throughout the remainder of first period. I barely listen as my teacher begins explaining some beginning of the year project we'll be working on during class for the first quarter, instead focusing my energy on the discomfort coursing through my veins. It bothers me to see my ex getting along with my friends–it's just so awkward.

I jump when the bell rings, startled by the sudden sound. I linger in my seat even as class is dismissed, patiently waiting for Mason to finish packing her belongings into her bag. I walk with her out of the classroom, joining her side as we exit into the crowded hallway.

"What the hell was that?" I snap bitterly.

Mason's eyes widen as she glances over at me. I bite down on my lip, ashamed of how aggressive my tone comes across as the question leaves my mouth.

"I'm sorry," I sigh. "It's just . . . You and Sloane?"

Mason exhales an airy laugh. "It was just small talk, Hadley. We were both alone, and it was awkward. So I said hi to clear the air."

I chew on my bottom lip thoughtfully. "I don't know how to act around her," I admit in a whisper. "Like . . . I feel guilty every time I see her. I don't want to be mean, you know? But I don't exactly want to be friends with her either. What am I supposed to do?"