The Phoenix Swordsman (Sword Art Online: Reader Insert)

I'm No Hero

Yui: Mommy. Daddy. Uncle U/N. Be careful, something bad is coming.

She then disappeared in red smoke, like she was blocked out.

Kirito: Asuna.

He tried reaching his hand over while I tried to stand up but another surge kicked us back down.

??: Well well well. I never expected to see a pair of cockroaches in my little birds cage.

Kirito: You gotta be kidding.... Sugou?

U/N: You... you know him?

The figure standing next to Kirito revealed himself. He was wearing green royal attire along with a crown to match with his cosplay routine. He waved his finger around.

Sugou: Ah ah. I'd prefer you not use that name in this world. Call me His Highness, The Fairy King Oberon!

He kicked Kirito down.

U/N: Ha! Pathetic name.

He looked over at me who was on one knee and still struggling to get up.

Oberon: And who might you be.

U/N: Oh I go by many names. Ass Kicker, Kicker of Asses. Slayer of Shitheads. But you can call me, U/N, The Phoenix swordsman.

His eyes looked shocked. I just almost gotten up, but got kicked onto my back.

Oberon: U/N. But I thought you went down with SAO.

U/N: Well you learn something new everyday. Now, can you promptly fuck off so I can get my friends outta here.

Oberon: I'm sorry, but I just can't allow that to happen. One reason being your trapped by this new gravity spell that is coming out in the next update.

He stepped on my arm.

Oberon: What do you think. Think the players would go for it.

U/N: Oh I don't know. Maybe if you get that disgusting ass foot away from me and let me kick your ass, then maybe I'll leave a one star review.

Oberon: Has your mom ever told you that words can't hurt you little brat.

He kicked me in the face. He heard some grunting and saw that Kirito had almost gotten up too. Sugou or Oberon went over and once again kicked over Kirito.

Oberon: As for you Kirigaya. Or do you prefer Kirito. How did you two manage to get up here?

He picked up Kirito's sword and looked at it.

Oberon: I saw a strange program running just now. Was that it?

Kirito was blunt and activated his wings as he said.

Kirito: I flew up here, with my wings.

U/N: We totally didn't do that but okay.

Kirito: Shut it U/N.

Oberon: It doesn't matter. If you don't wanna talk, that fine. I'll just go ask your mind instead.

Kirito: What?

Oberon: Oh please. You don't really think I set thing entire thing up for fun, did you? I have three hundred players from SAO under my thumb now thanks to their dedicated cooperation, the technology that I developed can gain total control of a persons emotions and thought is already 80 percent complete. I'm about to do what no one else has, gaining the total control of the human soul. The power of a god. And soon, that power will be mine! I mean, c'mon, thank god for virtual reality.

He started laughing like a minicanal megalomaniac.

Kirito: Sugou!

Asuna: Your never going to get away with this. You hear me monster?