If I Stay✔️

20

It was so achingly painful, but yet so refreshing to just let it all out.

No matter how hard Leo tried, he couldn't stop. Every emotion poured from his soul as he cried for every single unwanted touch, every single unwanted feeling, every single unwanted voice.

Everything.

Every. Single. Thing.

He wrapped his arms protectively around himself, curling into a ball before he pulled his knees to his chest, providing himself with a comfort he couldn't — no matter how hard he wished — allow from others.

Everything he'd switched himself off to always returned as the devil left, leaving Leo to pick up the pieces from the hurt he'd caused.

Piece by piece.

Leo couldn't help but blame himself, he had a full list of what if's in his mind; what if he'd just stayed with his brothers? What if he hadn't drowned his sorrows in alcohol? What if he hadn't consumed the unknown drugs? What if he'd been stronger? What if he'd tried harder? What if he'd dressed differently? What if he'd kept a hold of Em's hand and just simply grounded himself, instead of running off like a coward?

Emilio.

Leo's sobs grew harder, tears, snot and saliva all mixing into one as he gasped for a breath.

I can't breathe.

He broke his promise.

Fuck, how could he do this? The promise was less than twelve hours ago, — give or take, Leo had no fucking clue what time it was — yet he's broken it already.

He couldn't even last a day.

Weak.

So fucking pathetic.

Leo had let Emilio down, he'd failed and he knew for a fact that he would always fail.

Time and time again.

***

Callan was pacing, his sneaker covered feet making indents on the grass with every repeated step he took.

One hour.

One whole hour and no sign of Leo.

He'd received a text from his youngest brother roughly forty-five minutes ago, a vague message about him needing to be alone.

Callan couldn't help but feel uneasy, his mind nagging at him, telling him that something was wrong. As ridiculous as it may sound, the message was nothing like one Leo would send.

Unlike Carter and Kaden, Leo always worded his texts properly, using the correct grammar, always claiming that he hated the shortened version of 'you' and the use of numbers instead of a simple two-to-three letter word.

Glancing at the message, for what must've been the twentieth time, Callan's frown only deepened.

Leo: Gone 4 a walk. Need space 2 think, B back soon.

Leo wouldn't type like that, Callan knew that for a fact. And with that thought in his mind, Callan's anxiety sky-rocketed.

"Cal?"