Just One Look

Causatum

The bell shook me from my daydream, Bruce looked up from his test. Our eyes locked, and I quickly looked away. He would know I was thinking about him. I gave him a steely glare before I left the room. I marched away angry, regretful, horny, and pained. Part of me wanted him again, the other leaned away.

"I caught you staring." Bruce called after me. I ignored him and kept walking. "Catrina," He said annoyed, I continued on. "Catrina, we both know what we want." He said, falling into step with me. "We want each other." He said desperately.

"Bruce," I complained,

"Catrina, listen. I made a mistake."

"That's what they all say! That's what I said, but you just turned and walked away! You had your chance, and now it's done."

"I want you back."

"Of course you do! This is so typical! Just leave me be! Can't you just say that you don't want me anymore and save me some pain? I don't want to play this game of hot and cold. So let me lay down the rules. You broke up with me, so we're finished. That's final." I said harshly. He looked as if he was shot in the side, he stopped walking and leaned up against the wall of the hallway. A wave of sadness hit me, and I realized what I had just done. I turned the corner and ducked into the bathroom. I dropped my books on the floor with a crash and punched the wall. "Why did I do that?!" I yelled to myself. Someone came out of the stall and quickly left the bathroom. Tears quickly fell from my eyes, and I leaned towards the wall. So many things were wrong! I ended my relationship with Bruce, I just up and stopped it. There was no chance I would ever get him back. I remembered, months ago when my brother had gone missing and I had blown up in Science class. Bruce had come to my rescue and comforted me when I was breaking down. I stayed in the bathroom and let my feelings flood out of me. When the day was done, I went home to my Moms and just tried to sleep, but it wouldn't come. My chest ached and I cried. I wanted my life to be back to the way it was months ago, before school started, before I met Bruce, or before Karen met Jared. I just wanted to come home, and see my parents happy together in the kitchen. But that is no more, my parents have divorced, I ended it with Bruce, and Karen was murdered. What did I do to deserve this? Is it my fault somehow that Karen was killed? I don't know how long I stayed in my room, long enough to get hungry enough to come downstairs.

"Are you okay, Cat?" My Mom asked, when I came down.

"Yeah, just doing homework."

"Someone's here to see you." She said, from the living room. I poked my head around the corner, his blue eyes filled my chest with a yearning that I could not deny.

"Oh, uh, hi. What do you want." I said coldly.

"Can we talk Catrina?" He asked standing up, his blonde hair was brushed away from his face. I didn't think about my answer, until after I agreed. My Mother then retired upstairs, leaving he and I alone.

"I know who you are, I know what you did. You've ruined my life." I said quietly. He nodded. Stepping closer to me.

"I know, I know what I did was wrong." His hands were dangling at his sides.

"You've killed so many people, Jared." I whispered, looking down.

"I know, I know." He reached for my hand, but I pulled away fighting the urge to let him touch me.

"Why?" I asked him, and myself. Why was I wanting his touch? Why did I not resist him more?

"I can't help it, it's too hard not to."

"Why do-" He held a finger to my lips, he was so close. I could smell the soap on his skin.

"I need you, Kitty." He whispered, gazing into my eyes, those eyes that begged me.