Unaware {M.R.}

seven

Wednesday.

Lunch? I asked, looking at Dorcas, Mary and Aria.

Mary nodded. Oh I need something to eat, seriously.

I turned to Aria as Mary and Dorcas stood up, but Aria stayed seated. Aria?

She smiled, looking up at me, but she shook her head. No thank you; Im not hungry. Ill see you guys later.

Mary looked at Aria, then me as she slowly picked up her bag.

I smiled. Alright. I have to tutor Alex later, but dinner?

Quickly Aria shook her head. Oh, no. I- I have a date

Frowning, the three of us looked at her. A date? Dorcas questioned.

Aria smiled. Yes; but dont let me keep you from lunch. Enjoy.

Mary frowned, looking from Aria to me as we exited the classroom. Dore, she said, walking between Dorcas and I. Is she okay?

Dorcas frowned. I think so. Why? Whats the matter?

Mary sighed. She wasnt at breakfast

She slept in, I reminded.

And dinner last night?

She was feeling unwell

And lunch yesterday?

I frowned, looking at Mary as we entered the great hall. She was quite correct; but we couldnt make assumptions. That was just wrong...

-----

Someone looks wondered.

I looked up, seeing Joe and Alex sit down. I scoffed. I see you two became buddies.

Oh we come along well, Alex smiled. Hes not that bad.

Hes terrible, Joe joked, But I can handle it.

I laughed, looking down at the food on my plate. I then trailed my eyes down the table, searching for Mattheo; but I couldnt spot him. His presence was missing since yesterday. It confused me, and gathered my curiosity.

Club is tomorrow, right?

I looked at Alex, giving a nod. Yes. From five till eight. I spoke to McGonagall We dont have to gather in a dorm. Due to it being a club, we get to gather in the old outdated herbology library. A.k.a. the room we cleaned for detention.

Joe looked thankful. So that means we no longer have to sit in your dorm; smelling vanilla perfume?

I smiled. Yes, Joe.

-----

Mary came into my dorm, before shutting the door behind her. I was alone. I frowned, watching her pace up and down the room.

Mary?

How do you know? she asked, frowning as she looked at me. How do you know you like someone?

My eyebrows lift as I looked at her in confusion. I dont think Im the one you should ask-

Is it like a spark, or is it a slow feeling, or is it something you have to make happen?

I looked at her blankly. Okay? Uh Im not really the best person to ask; but I know you mustnt force it. What I hear from Dorcas and Aria- its either an upcoming feeling, or a deep dive of sudden emotion when something happens

Mary sighed, dropping down onto my bed in front of me. How do you know, Zoe?

I smiled, shaking my head. I dont. Im not really the dating kind. Ive never been crazy over someone. Im still waiting for that train of feelings to hit me. But not yet.

And what if what if I got hit by this train? What if it drove straight into me without a noise, and now Im filled with this weight of feelings?

I looked at her in silence for a few seconds. Well, then you got hit by it. Then the weight is there until it falls off.

Mary nodded. And what if this train didnt come from a well masculine image

I frowned. You mean a male?

She looked at me, guilt in her eyes. I got by this metaphorical train; but not for a man, or boy, or whatever. It was from a- a feminine being. A girl- woman. I dont know how to say this.

You think you might be gay? I asked, making her eyes shoot up at me again.

Gay? I dont- I dont think gay is the proper word. I mean I have slept with men before; and I liked it. I mean a boy, but still. I dont know. I- Maybe Im just going crazy.

I smiled, tilting my head. Do you know what Bisexuality is, Mary?

She shook her head, frowning.

I moved closer to her. Ive heard of a few students here who are bisexual. It means liked both male and females. Youre attracted to both.

She looked at me blankly. Doesnt that make me sound greedy?

Shaking my head I took her hand. It doesnt make you greedy; or selfish; or needy; or scared of rejection. I heard its not a choice. If you like boys, you like boys. If you like girls, you like girls. If you like both, you like both. If you like none, you like none. Its not up to others to decide who you like. Its up to you, Mary. Its your life.

She looked at me with learning eyes. You dont think its desperation.

I shook my head. Everyone is desperate. But your sexuality isnt one of them

[844 words]