None of Us Saw This Coming

February, 2019: No Thoughts, Head Empty

"How are you?"

It was early in the morning—it was not even 7 AM yet when Jisoo sipped her hot café latte in a little Italian restaurant somewhere in Los Angeles. Seulgi had white foam resting on the top of her upper lips forming a moustache made by the cappuccino she took a sip from and that made Jisoo giggle. It had been a while since the last time they could have a little date like that (well, it was more like it had been a while since they could civilly co-exist in a space with just the two of them).

It was probably the busiest Blackpink had ever been; between the preparations for their world tour, a comeback, Coachella, and guest-starring in some US shows for their US debut, Jisoo tried to fit a Seulgi, who was there in LA as well for Red Velvet's Red Mare Concert Tour.

"You're such a dork, Kang Seulgi," Jisoo chuckled as she wiped the foam off Seulgi's face, "I've been well. Thank you for asking," she smiled weakly. To that answer, Seulgi's eyes automatically formed two crescents and Jisoo could not help herself from the urge of smacking the dork she once fell in love with.

Still as adorable as ever.

It all started in 2016—a few months after Blackpink debuted when Jisoo met Seulgi in a convenience store thinking so hard about which snacks to buy—it was stupid, Jisoo claimed, but Seulgi made it as if it was a matter of life and death. It was probably one of the most bizarre situations Jisoo had ever encountered, but from that moment on, Jisoo had slowly yet surely fallen for the older; her innocence and naivety were so adorable in Jisoo's eyes that she felt as if she had to protect the bear at all costs, but as time went by she figured out that Seulgi was more than just an innocent naive kid, Seulgi was responsible and she was mature in her own way, she was calm and sure—Seulgi was Jisoo's peace of mind.

It was not long until they found themselves dating each other. Seulgi was patient, gentle, and kind with an odd sense of humour to most but Jisoo probably came with the same oddness of sense of humour that they clicked the moment they laughed at things most people would find silly. It went without saying that her time with Seulgi was probably the happiest time in Jisoo's life, but then, the love she had, somehow took a new form along the way and turned into a distraction for Jisoo—at least, that was how it felt to Jisoo; it felt as if Seulgi distracted her and it was only a year after Blackpink's debut, and at that time all she could think was she could not risk her career over a distraction.

That was why Jisoo felt that what she had with Seulgi (the relationship in general) only grew beyond her control and Jisoo just refused to handle anything uncontrollable. The peak of the chaos happened when Seulgi joined Sunmi, their sunbaenim, on a reality show in 2018; it was when everything finally broke loose for Jisoo and she realised she was too immature to fall in love with another. So she chose to break off everything with Seulgi, who did not seem to have anything against the idea.

"I'm surprised you even accepted my invitation at all," Jisoo weakly said, considering how it ended between the two of them. The colour on Seulgi's face shifted, it was gloomy, as if the clouds from the sky decided to shade Seulgi's ever-so-bright face and the sight of that particular Seulgi broke her heart because Jisoo knew very well that she was the one who did that.

"It's been a while after all," Seulgi shrugged, "And I'd be lying if say I don't miss you because I do. Every single day," to Seulgi's words Jisoo was frozen. She did not expect that, but it indeed had been a while; a pretty long while that was enough to make Jisoo think and grow without Seulgi—to find her own self and make peace with herself.

"I want to apologise. I think I'm being unfair for treating you the way I did," Jisoo finally explained the meaning of her invitation as her mind took her to a year prior, facing her phone when she contacted Seulgi last. Breaking up over a text with no explanation—regardless of whatever Seulgi's reaction was, Jisoo realised she had acted immaturely and unfairly; it was either Seulgi never cared for them in the first place or her patience was longer than the Great Wall of China that the bear was able to put a smile on her face after what happened (deep down Jisoo knew, it was never the first possibility).