Red Vs Blue Zero to One ( OC/Male reader x RvB)

Chapter 58 Hook, Line...

Grey: FOCUS!!

Santa: The temple was designed to form a defensive barrier around the planet by manipulating gravity. The meddlers managed to circumvent my security measures and partially activated the temple, giving them moderate control over the planet's gravitational field.

Caboose: Tell him how the elves are involved Santa.

Epsilon: He's talking about the tractor beams.

Santa: This act should have been impossible without the Great Key. (turns to Tucker) Which brings me to you.

Tucker: Me?

Santa: I sensed your Key's power at the Temple of Arms and allowed you to activate it, but when you did not respond in the voice of my people, protocol insisted I bring you here for further testing.

Tucker: Sorry dude. The only language I speak, is American.

Zero: Weren't you an alien ambassador?

Tucker: I never said I was a good ambassador.

Grey: But why test us if Tucker already has the sword? Or key?

Santa: Because my records state that the Great Key of this planet has yet to be claimed.

Tucker: Wait! There's another key!?

Caboose: Of course! In case you lock one in your car! My God, they have one of everything!

Santa: It lies in a mountain temple to the east. After the security failure I had to be sure that the presence of two keys was not an error in my programming. It is now clear to me, that although your key comes from another world, it was in fact forged by my creators, and is therefore acceptable.

Tucker: Sweet! Then that means we can go back to our tower and turn it on.

Grey: Alien weaponry for everyone!

Epsilon: And you said that was only a fraction of the stuff that's here, right?

Santa: Correct.

Carolina: ...Well, not to sound greedy but...eh...

Epsilon: ...What else you got?

Carolina: Yeah.

Santa: Hmm, there is the Temple of Weather Manipulation, Bountiful Harvest, Interior Decorating, Procreation, Communication...

Tex: Wait, what was that last one?

Santa: Communication. Activating this temple will allow you to send a message to virtually any communication device in the galaxy.

Tucker: And what was the one before that?

Santa: Procreation. Activating this temple will throw the inhabintants of Chorus into a ravenous sexual frenzy with the intent to increase a potentially dwindling population.

Tex: Uh huh...

Zero:We... won't be needing that one...

Tucker: (chuckling) Well, let's not rule anything out.

Zero: ...-_-... We won't be needing that one!

Tucker: Buzzkill...

Epsilon: Yo! Alien dude!

Santa: Santa.

Epsilon: I refuse to call you that. Look, we actually need to transmit a message to Earth but there's been a bunch of radio jammers keeping it from getting out. You think this temple thing will be strong enough to break through them?

Santa: Without question.

Epsilon: Well then, that's it! We don't need a full-on assault! We don't even need alien weapons! We just gotta activate that temple and call for help.