Different 2

7.

Jace strokes my hand with his thumb at my answer, signalling me that he's not hurt one bit. "And I love you for that" he says, and I tense right away. I haven't heard that sentence from him in a really long time, and considering the fact that both of us don't know what we are, it feels weird to hear him say it. A good weird though. "I mean it, Mila. I love you so fucking much" he says, his hand from my thigh finding its way onto my cheek.

My eyes start to water at his sincerity. I've missed him so much, I don't know how I was able to cope without him these past few months. "You know that I love you too. I haven't stopped just because we weren't together" I say quietly, wanting to kiss him badly. I'm way too shy to make the first move, and I think Jace doesn't know that I'd want him to make it. "Talking about the future... what happened with Derek after the night of my birthday?" I ask him, knowing that he'll give me the full truth after our talk yesterday. 

Jace sighs. "He was fucking pissed to say the least. Things are basically the same now, I still sell for him and get him all the free coke he wants. He'll go to the police if I stop, Mila. I'll go to jail" he answers, and my heart drops.

"Are you sure that he'd be able to build a case? He left that guy that night just like you did, and it's not like he isn't involved in the drug scene" I say quietly, already thinking of a million ways we can get Jace out of the situation with Derek.

"It's not that simple, Derek has his ways. No matter what solution you're thinking of, I've already gone over it, Mila. I have to keep doing what he says, keep selling for him" Jace answers, not liking to admit it. 

I nod my head understandingly, even though I know it's not something I'm going to accept so easily. "Is it what you want to do, to keep selling? Or are you really doing it just for him?" I ask him, wondering about his answer.

Jace has to think about it for a good minute. "If it wasn't for Derek, I'd stop. Not just for me, but for you too" he says, genuinely meaning it.

I lay my hand on his cheek, to stroke it with my thumb softly. "I'm so sorry Jace. I wish I could help you" I say quietly.

"You're here, that's all that matters" Jace answers. 

I nod my head once again. "So, there's really only one question left unanswered for me, for now..." I say cautiously.

Jace isn't hesitant one bit. "Go ahead" he says, encouraging me.

"Where do you store your drugs? You always seem to have some near..." I ask him.

"I rented a place not too far from here, I know a guy. Sometimes I have some in my car, sometimes even in this apartment..." he admits. That's a piece of information I didn't have before, and I certainly don't like it. He's putting me in danger with that too. "I'm sorry, I know I should've told you. But you know that I'd never let anything happen to you, right?" he says.

I don't want to get angry, so I simply nod my head at him. "You can't do that anymore, have drugs here. I'm not comfortable with that" I tell him honestly.

"Of course" Jace says, signalling me that he'll stop to do just that. My phone vibrating interrupts us this time. Thank you, Mila. I know this will be good for the both of you. I read Austin's text, and appreciate the gesture. 

I know that whatever Jace and I are doing here will be tough. I'm getting all worked up this morning, because all of the information I'm gaining is getting to me. These past few hours have been so good for me, yet have taken so much energy from me too. I think about what happened that night, Jace calling himself a murderer for it. Him sleeping with another girl while I was gone. I never thought I'd say this, but I think I need some time alone after all of this.