Day 4 | 성훈 [EN-]

Memoria V

Packing my bags and having to move towards such small orphanage, was quite embarrassing and detrimental to my name.

These thoughts were the ones that filled my head once I was forced to leave my home and live in such shack. I didn't understand what type of punishment this was supposed to give.

Once I had arrived, I immediately understood what type of hierarchy this place had. What I liked to call as the "authorities" (as they acted like they were authorized to do everything they desired) started to pamper me with unwanted compliments while showing me around the orphanage.

Around the end of the tour, was when they finally introduced me to the seven other boys, who were already living in such poor conditions. They kept looking at me as if I was a ghost, back then I hadn't realized it nor would I have known, but it was because there hadn't been another kid at the orphanage in years.

Those boys were already teenagers, going to young adults and they had known each other since they were little boys.

I felt a bit out of place, or at the very least, odd about the amount of unkept dolls and stringy cobwebs this place had. The old furniture, the deteriorating curtains that looked like if they had been made from just paper, everything about this place seemed odd.

I just didn't know why I was led here, or what exactly had I done to be given with such questionable lesson. All I knew was that I was condemned here and I had to find a way out to prove my worthiness of such prized possession I hold.

The power of creation, the irreversible mistake of an apparent blessing. Back then I believed such buffoonery, being too ignorant to even question what had been told to me.

I was told that I was special, that I had been given what the gods lurked for, yet I'm starting to doubt such claim.

Was I really damned from there because of my questioning of this gift? My questioning of the outside world?

"This is your room." they slowly opened the door to a tiny, full of dust particles, room, that only had a small mattress with a tiny desk and a flickering light bulb that I was sure would've died out any second, but I couldn't really complain.

The door steadily started to close, while they left me to explore my grand room that only took a few steps to explore. I began to feel a bit bored, so I decided to do what I did best, be a curious girl.

Taking a small peek at what was going on behind my doors, it started to make a loud creaking sound that would have made anyone immediately check what was going on, yet no one did.

Creeping up towards the narrow hallway and towards a foggy window, I could see six boys playing around with nothing more but a paper airplane, which made me wonder if that was their sort of entertainment. I pressed my hand against the window, before a loud, disturbing voice made me snap out of it.

"What are you doing here?" it was one of the boys who lived there, someone who I now know of as Jungwon. At first I thought of him as a bit cold and resistant in becoming friends with me, having been so close to his other brothers, but sure enough he came along during the process.

No words could come out of my mouth, which made him a bit more irritated.

"Can you not speak?"

Back where I had lived, they would not let me speak, fearing that whatever I would swear towards, would come true. The words I spoke were treated as prophecies and not just normal opinions.

The only form of communication I had was writing and forming sentences, putting each word together to form a piece of a puzzle.

Those words were what I wanted to scream towards him, but I couldn't do much except ignore him, continuing to watch the others still play around.

The thought of me having the freedom to speak my mind and not have to watch out my tongue, felt too surreal for me, I just couldn't accept it yet.

"Why can't you say anything?!" I gave him one final glance and then continued my way towards my room, not bothering to explore the rest of the orphanage (which was quite odd from my part).

A sudden hand grabbed me by the arm, forcing me to look face him, making me feel even more nervous.

"I won't let you go until you say something. Why were you looking at them and why did you decide to come out of your room?"