Love Again ✔

26. My Miracle

"Just a couple of hours." Mama says.

"I want to s-see him." I announce.

"No." Eddie barks the word out, shaking his head.

I smile at him. "I love him, dad. As much as M-Mama loves you."

He clenches his jaw at me, because he knows I don't call him that unless I need him to be kind to me, soft for me. "He couldn't keep you safe. You had a panic attack because of him. He doesn't deserve you, Ella. Please, my sweet girl. You promised me you'll be safe. I can't watch my daughter break again, Ella. Please."

"I won't." I assure him, because I believe that. I'm a lot stronger than before, Maddox made sure of that. Today was just a bad day. "It w-wasn't his fault. He asked me if I w-wanted to leave multiple times and I said no. He's the only one I feel safe with, you know that. And a panic attack hasn't changed that fact." I speak the truth, because it's not the first panic attack I'vep went through, and probably won't be the last. I can only hope I don't go through one this bad again anytime soon, because it has absolutely drained me.

Eddie remains silent for a couple of seconds, his eyes never leaving mine, before he groans, defeated. "I don't like him."

"That's okay. I love him enough for the both of us." I giggle.

"Such a dork." He rolls his eyes at me, but I see the smile he tries to hide. "If he ever hurts you, or puts you in danger again, I'll deal with him without your damn permission, you get that? You're my daughter, and I'll be damned if I let him cause you pain, you hear me, Ella?"

I don't blame him for being so protective, so stern. He and Mama were there for me when no one else wanted to be. They had to endure a long year of watching their daughter shattering and barely taping herself back together, over yet another man they warned me about.

But Maddox is nothing like Jaxon and I trust him with every little piece of my soul.

"I love you, dad." I squeeze his hand before letting go. "I love you, Mama."

"We love you more, darling." Mama drops a quick kiss on my forehead. "We'll be outside, alright?"

I nod and take a deep breath, getting myself ready, as I watch them close the door behind them. A few seconds later Maddox opens it, carefully stepping inside the room. His eyes are red and wide as they stare at me, as if he's trying to read what I'm thinking. He doesn't have to.

He walks over to me slowly, his eyes heavy with guilt as he sits on the chair beside my bed. "I don't know what I can say to fix this, Rose."

I stay silent, my eyes watching his hands slightly shake.

"But I can't apologize enough. I failed you, and you don't deserve that. You've been so fucking wonderful and brave and I know you've done everything for me, to make me fucking happy. But I couldn't keep you safe." Maddox's voice is full of regret and anger alike, and my heart swells inside my chest at this beautiful, sweet man. "I promised you that you had nothing to worry about, that I would be there to calm you down if it gets too much, but I broke that promise, and you had to pay the price. I told you you'd be safe with my family, and you weren't. And I'm so fucking sorry for that."

"Maddox." I want to tell him that he's wrong. That I don't blame him. That it was an accident, not his fault, and not his family's.

"I love you." His chin trembles and the blue eyes I'm in love with fill with tears. "I will do whatever the fuck it takes to show you that you can trust me. I'll earn that trust again, Rose, I know I can. I'll make you feel safe with me again. Just please don't walk away, baby."

I shake my head quickly, ready to tell him that I could never. That the mere thought of ever being without him breaks my heart. But his voice shakes as he keeps talking.