Sarina Maxine

Sarina (Chapter 46)🔞

"I'm not trying to sound upset but...I really don't understand how you see yourself this way...did anyone say negative things to you to make you feel this way or something?"

I shook my head.

"No, just stupid teenage girl thoughts and the occasional comparing myself to others. I just thought...maybe after...we like do it...I'll have more confidence or something."

He relaxed back onto the couch.

"They always say your first time is amazing and you'll feel like a different person but that's all a lie. If you aren't confident now, you never will be. That's something you have to work on for yourself. I always try my best to shower you with affection but at the end of the day I can't change you, I really do want to but I can't. So if this is what you really want, I'll do it, I'll do anything for you."

I looked up at him and smiled. I then threw my arms around his shoulders, hugging him.

"You always know the right things to say", I said.

He chuckled.

"So do you, remember when I was all depressed at the hospital", he asked as we separated.

"I just had to knock some sense into you."

"Yeah, and you literally did that."

I laughed.

"That was the only way I could get to you, you weren't listening."

"So, I should do the same thing to you?"

I quickly backed off.

"You wouldn't dare. Guys can't hit girls."

"Things are equal now."

I got onto my back, protecting myself with my legs, laughing the entire time.

"I can kick pretty hard", I warned.

"I've been working out lately so your legs are no match for me."

He easily took hold of my legs, forcing them down onto the couch and then apart before crawling between them to hover over me.

"Done fighting", he asked.

"As long as you won't try anything."

He raised his eyebrow. "Hm...I can't make promises."

He didn't move off of me and I didn't bother to move away. Maybe it's up to me to take charge this time. Javi was right, I can't just gain confidence out of nowhere, I need to make that change happen for myself, and...this is a start.

My hands came up around his neck, pulling him down to me until our faces were inches apart. I was nervous but I told myself this is what I wanted.

I lifted up a little, just enough to close the gap between our lips. Javi then pushed me back down with the kiss.

I cleared my head of any doubts and just allowed myself to feel. Naturally our bodies felt good, I can see how some people can do it with someone they've just met. That's not my thing when it comes to a stranger but with Javi, I trust him wholeheartedly. 

The more we kissed and the new techniques he introduced to me resulted in me wanting more. My nerves started to fade away for now because I was enjoying this so much.

"You want to move to my room", he asked after letting up off of me.

"Yes."

He got up, taking my hand as he led me to his room. He went to lay down on his bed first, pulling me down with him. We were both on our sides as we continued the make-out session.