Dorm Room 210 [Rewrite]

Chapter 12

[Final Chapter for the Wattpad version]

***

Sleeping is for the souls whose demons are friendly. Mine are torturing me from the inside out, preventing me from a much-needed rest. But how could I when they keep playing the night over and over and...

You kissed him.

Like a caressing whisper against sharp rubble. My chest warms from the memory of us kissing in the parking lot.

You kissed him and he has a girlfriend.

It dies just as quickly.

The seesaw torment is one I know fondly, but the edges are jagged with thin, invisible sharp corners. I shut my eyes tight as the sound of music perpetrated through my ears from my headphones, but the high volume does nothing to ward out the images. Two songs go by and they all find a way to make it about Noah.

Shutting the music off, I climb down from the top bunk, careful at making any noise that'll wake Noah up. Once my bare feet touch the wooden floor, I head to the kitchen and make myself a sandwich.

You're a bad friend.

Instead of bread, I taste fluffy cardboard.

You know what Nikki will say when she finds out. You know what they'll all say.

I stare at nothing and everything in the kitchen at once.

What am I going to do about this? The hurricane flooding in my mind starts to numb me. I roll my eyes and finish my sandwich off, feeling sluggish at the last bite. I have no energy to stop feeding what it wants.

A ruffle in the sheets stops me in my tracks. There's a faint white glow from the windows from the streetlights outside, reaching most of the room except for the bunkbed. In the faint shadow, Noah's silhouette moves.

It takes me a moment to find my courage. "How long have you been up for?"

His voice is hardened with sleep. "A while. You?"

I make my way to the ladder. "Same. Just made a midnight snack."

He stays silent in his bed. I tap my fingers against the metal bars, my heart roaring in my ears. I'm sure he can hear it, too. Is this what it's going to be like from now on: the silence and the awkwardness? I wet my lips, counting down from ten.

"Good night, Noah."

"Did you want to talk about it?"

I stop. "Did you want to talk about it?"

"I think we should."

"Okay."

I lean against the ladder as Noah moves to the wall, pressing himself there.

"You can come sit next to me," he says.

"No, it's fine. I'm comfortable here."

His silhouette moves until he is no longer on his bed but making his way to the window nook. He parts the curtains, exposing the white glow, illuminating most of the dorm and him. I take the chance to calm myself before sitting across from him.

He takes a steady breath. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

Noah's face pinches together. "I did mean it. I meant to kiss you."

My chest does a wild thump. "Oh."

"At the time," he adds. He groans and rests his head in his hand. "You said some really sweet things."