Love Again ✔

22. Too Good

She blinks at me for a few seconds before nervously swallowing. She looks down again, her eyes too unfocused and I know she's not as enthusiastic about this as I am.

"It's okay if you don't want to or if you're not ready for that yet. I'll totally understand, I promise." I rush the words out but she shakes her head.

"It's not that." She mumbles quietly and I frown.

Pushing her head up with my fingers beneath her chin, I search her eyes. "Then what is it?"

She sighs. "Let's talk about this later, yeah?"

"Rose, what's wrong?" I think I'm panicking a little because she looks at me for a second too long before sighing again.

"You're already in a bad mood. I don't want to argue." She bites her bottom lip nervously.

"Why would we argue? I told you it's okay if you don't want to come, baby. I'll understand. You know I never want to pressure you into anything. We can wait, Angel." I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear gently and caress her cheek.

"It's not about waiting, Maddox." She shakes her head with a huff. "And of course I do want to meet them, I'd be honoured but..."

That calms down my heart a little. "But what, my angel?"

"What do they know about me?" She asks with a raised brow.

"They know that you I love you. That I've been in love with you for two years. They know that I was going to ask you out but you took your classes online for a year. I've told them that you're back and that we're friends. They know we've been getting close but they don't know we're together yet. I'm planning on tell them soon, though." I answer her truthfully and she sighs once more.

"Do they know why I've decided to take my classes online?" She asks, already knowing the answer and my frown deepens. "Do they know about my condition? The stutter? The attacks? Everything else?"

I get now where she's heading with this and I clench my jaw as I shake my head.

She carefully gets off my lap and stands up, tying her hair into a high bun at the top of her head. "I know I've been doing better with crowds lately. That being around people doesn't scare me as much as it used to before. But how am I supposed to meet your family if I'm gonna stutter every time someone talks to me? How am I gonne tell them not to shake my hand or touch me at all? How are we supposed to explain that if someone makes physical contact with me, even accidentally, I might freak out and cry and have a panic attack just like I did half an hour ago?"

"Stop it." I say, sternly. "Stop making yourself believe that you're not good enough. I fucking hate it when you do that."

"I'm good enough for you, I understand that. You love me as I am, I get that too." Rose speaks, her eyes bright with a fire new to me. "But if I go there it'll be catastrophic, Maddox. The second I refuse to shake someone's hand and stutter as I explain that it scares me, they'll think I'm a freak and I'll embarrass you and I don't want that."

"Fuck, Rose." I shoot up to my feet, a visible scowl on my face. "You'll fucking embarrass me? Are you serious?"

How could she think that? How could she still not see how amazing she is, how kind and caring and sweet?

"I told you I don't want to argue." She huffs in annoyance, shaking her head.

"Oh, we'll argue, baby. Whenever the fuck you talk about yourself like that, we'll argue. Because you're fucking perfect, and you still don't know that. Your heart is made of pure fucking gold, Rose." I stare her down and she bites her lip again.