wishes | lee yubin

eleven.

[present]

we sat at the table. a bowl of cereals with milk was placed in front of us. the sun was shining outside telling us we had woken up to the middle of the day.

it felt like the time didn't move, like we had stayed in the old apartment where we used to share our secrets.

yubin was still dressed in the pyjamas i had bought last week without knowing i wouldn't be the one who tries them first.

i already had the clothes i usually wore at home but still had messy hair because i didn't plan to go anywhere that day.

i watched how yubin was slowly eating her breakfast/lunch and i noticed so many details. she still had the ring on her finger. the silver one with three little stones in it. her nails were as always natural, without any added colour. she didn't have ponytail so she had to hold her hair with her hand every time the spoon was on the way to her mouth. and yes, those brown hair fascinated me too much i had to smile how it fit her. she looked adorable with her eyes still sleepy, without make up.

"what are you staring at?" she asked even though she didn't catch me. "you must be hungry, why don't you eat?"

the truth was i wasn't hungry, neither for mood to eat anything at the moment. in any other day, my stomach would already explode with the lack of food but not now.

yubin finally finished her bowl and looked up to find my eyes scanning her. "is there something wrong?" she asked.

"no, i'm-" i hesitated if i should say it. but whatever. "i'm so happy to see you."

"really?" she giggled. "i'm so happy to see you too."

suddenly her face turned into serious mode. my smile froze immediately and i started questioning myself if it was a mistake. but what she said next was out of topic.

"can you come closer?"

"oh, sure."

i took my chair few centimetres closer to her and waited for her explanation.

"come here and look me in the eyes."

so i did what she had told me to do. and all i could see was her beautiful brown orbs looking back at me and my reflection in them.

"look properly and tell me, what do you see?"

"people change with time," i said after a long pause of admiring. "their personalities are turning into someone else's and their skin gets wrinkled. their hair changes its colour and their body is full of scars. but the eyes. lord, the eyes never change."

we kept the moment we had. it made me think about my school days again. i had used to stare into those eyes for hours and hours, it made me go crazy just thinking about it.

"i'm sorry," i whispered. "did i really say it out loud?"

she smiled. i could tell by the corners of her eyes. "go on. tell me what you wanted to say."

"i-" why did i get suddenly nervous? it was a normal thing to say. or not? "i could search the world but i wouldn't find as beautiful eyes as yours, really. i- i just love your eyes."

i had to stand up and walk away from the room because i was too shy to face her. i bet my cheeks were getting red.

i sat on the bed where she had slept last night. i hide my cheeks in my hands and waited for yubin to come in. of course, i knew she'd follow me, she had used to do that all the time, whether we had argued or had been teasing each other.

"so you like my eyes, huh?" she asked as if she had forgotten what i had just told her. had i said "like"? "well, thank you. i must say you have beautiful eyes too."

she came to me and kneeled down in front of me. she took my hands and exposed my cheeks on fire. i admit it, this was my biggest weakness, i could blush really easily and for nothing (although this wasn't nothing).

she chuckled. "you haven't changed a bit, do you know that? you're still the same person as on high school. the grown up kid who knows more about the world than any grey and old human, yet you had so far from being adult. i guess it suits you well. the seventeen years old person who had a pack of cigarettes in her pocket just because it seemed cool. the girl who wanted to stand out, never fit in."

"on the other hand, yubin, you were still a child. but adult in the inside. how can this be possible?"

until now i didn't realise she had been caressing my hand with her thumb. and when i did, i felt how another wave of heat was reaching my cheeks. damn it.

"i don't have an answer for that," she said simply.

the last smile was given to me before she stood up and made her way to the chair where she had left her clothes yesterday. and without any warning, she took off the pajamas and threw them on the floor. she was now only in her underwear. i wanted to look away but couldn't. watching her get dressed, my mind visited places so far away from here and so forbidden i was ashamed to be myself.

"by the way, thank you for the breakfast," she spoke up and returned my thoughts back to reality. "i should go and buy you some food instead of paying rent, what do you say?"

"that's okay," i waved my hand. "it's not a big deal, really. you can stay here as long as you want. i'm so happy to be with you anyway." the last sentence came out as a whisper so i didn't assume she heard it.

"you're sweet but i still need to do something for you when you let me stay."

she didn't care about make up or mascara, she just decided to go out to the town. and on her way out of the room, she kissed me on the forehead.