wishes | lee yubin

three.

[present]

she stood up and asked me if we should've gone home. it was already too late in the night but seeing and talking to her made me forget about my problems the way nothing else ever could.

"okay," i nodded. "where are you staying at?"

"me?" she paused for a moment. "i- i have nowhere to go actually."

"how's that possible? i thought you had somewhere to stay."

she shrugged and let her sight be fixed on the grass in front of her. "i didn't plan to go back to be honest. all i wanted to do is to meet my old friend, that's all. i even didn't know if you would be here. i searched and searched until i found you. and now i'm happy again even if i have to sleep under a bridge."

"you won't be sleeping under a bridge tonight though," i said confidently. "how could i let you do such a thing? we used to be good friends, remember? and we will never let each other down, right?"

"okay," she smiled.

"and i missed you too."

i was glad she was with me. i hoped she will always stay in this city. i didn't want her to leave ever again.

i reached for her hand and as the tips of our fingers touched, my heart suddenly skipped a beat. this world was too quiet for us, the wind stopped blowing and the sky stopped moving. silence.

her hand was colder than before, as if the wind took away the warmth from her body but her small smile was still too bright to warm people's hearts.

"should we go now?" i was watching how the tip of her fingers brushed against my skin and travelled to my palm.

"yeah, sure," she agreed and stood up in front of me. "but where do you wanna go?"

"home," i replied simply.

she squeezed my hand and hesitated for a second.

"isn't home just one place for one person? i mean, how could you know where my home really is?"

maybe i was wrong, i couldn't take her home.

"i have a question," she spoke up again. "is there any slightest chance that we're perhaps living in the same house?"

"okay, i see you found out anyway so i swear i won't let you guess the answer anymore."

she put on the biggest smile and stood up. "before we go, i have one more question."

"go on."

"when i was far away to reach, was there any other person in your life that kept you company?"

"yes, there was," was my simple answer.

"who was it?" she asked curiously. "i want to know."

i looked her directly in the eyes. i could read the fear in them, the waiting for the long awaited truth. so i laid my palms on her cheeks as i spoke: "you know the person."

"so it was her," she sighted. "i see."

"when you left, she comforted me because you couldn't," i explained.

"this doesn't change anything, it's still lee siyeon."

"look, you have a lot of reasons not to like her and i get it. people can hurt others without even using words, but people change as well and no amount of guilt can save them from their past. why not to give her a chance?"

"are you really that naive?"

"no, but i had no choice."

"that's a lie, everyone has a choice. but if she made you happy when i couldn't, it's okay with me."

"really?"

"yes." she held my hands and put them down. "if she didn't hurt you, it's okay with me."

"there's more."

she fixed her eyes on the ground and waited for the names i was about to tell her. "who is it this time?"

"kim minji."

"alright," she nodded. "i think we should go now."

i felt a bit down after i confessed with whom i used to spend my days. after all, they were my friends and made me forget about things that were stuck in my head. lee siyeon, the school's popular girl who played innocent and the heart stealer kim minji - this person is impossible not to like. and both personalities so different from mine, still i was happy to be with them.

as i walked by yubin's side, it felt so unlike in a lot of ways. i guess it was because the thousands memories we had ever made in our lives, the ones i hadn't made with anyone else.

"yubin," i called her name. "was there anyone for you as well?"

now i knew what she must've had felt. the silence before facing the words she wanted to say.

"of course, there was. but i'm sure you don't know her name, neither her face."

so she was a stranger. it's worse than i had thought. how could i know who she really was and what she could've done?

"what was she like?"

"she was a really good friend to me," she confessed. "but i'm sure she can't be a better friend than you have ever been."

"thanks."

my world lighted up again. the delight was just as slow as the clouds that travelled on the sky before it got dark again.

"was she something more than a friend?"

"what? why? she didn't," yubin laughed a bit because of how worried i was. "were lee siyeon and kim minji something more than friends to you?"

"no, they weren't."

and here it went wrong. i was walking by the side of my most favourite person in the whole world and i still had the courage to say that these two people were just friends to me. i had no right to say these words and i should've apologised for it right away. but i didn't. and why, you ask? it's simplier than it actually looks like. just like any other person in this world, i was scared to death, i was scared to lose everything i had and that forced me to do a very stupid decision. lie.