Hidden Path

Chapter 1. When I was a young child

Little note: this may be triggering to some.
Mentions: physical and emotional abuse, suicide, self harm and other sensitive topics.

The last time I remember my mom told me she loved me was about 7 years ago? Even then it seemed like she had to force herself to say it. Only in public did she show me any motherly love. But when we were alone, she became a different person. I can still feel the fear i felt as a little child knowing the worse was to come.
My mother would beat the utter crap out of me, And she got creative too. I still think about when she beat me with a metal pan, my body hurt for days, scared I kept quiet and didn't ask for help. She continued to beat me for years with different objects. Until I got fed up. You see my mother is very liked, she can fake an entire personality with ease. Hearing teachers and friends parents tell me how lucky I was to have that monster as a mother stung every time. Every time. I wanted my mother to be happy, to be proud of me. So I kept trying to win her affection, I always lost. I remember when I finally opened up. They called Cps, my mother is a damn good liar. She used my autism as an excuse. I just like to "make things up". Unfortunately I wasn't helped. My marks weren't proof enough. My mother tortured me physically and got away with it. However after CPS, she stopped torturing me, slowly stopped beating me and now its once in awhile. But beatings, being tortured were not what hurt the most. When i did not think life could get any worse then it was, my mother became emotionally abusive. ever since it has been hell on earth.