DEFIANT • kylo ren (18+)

07 - Yes.

He'll know if you don't obey him. You'd noticed there's cameras in your room and the training room.

"Ok." You're feeling very small and insignificant in his presence, and your voice reflects it.

His hand is stroking your hair now, caressing you. "Good girl."

His eyebrows are pinched together, he looks just as lost about what he's doing as you probably do. You catch yourself gazing up into his eyes, they're often endless pools of stoicism - but you can see his mind through the flashes of emotion, occasionally, if you're lucky enough to spot it. Right now, a flash of confusion, doubt, grief.

You keep getting these waves of grief in your meditation before sleep, which you'd decided was your loss of the resistance... but it could be him. You'd felt his grief in the Force before.

You wonder what happened to him. What he's been through. How he feels. If he's capable of any emotions other than hate, anger, apathy.

You've seen it before, you think he is. You'd seen his eyes burn with desire. You'd discovered his mind flashing with attraction. You'd found his grief among his rage. You can see him in a way you're sure no one has ever seen him before.

He snaps, ripping his hand away from your head so fast you're certain you physically jumped in surprise - he's storming away now, his dark figure disappearing in front of you as he starts toward the locked door.

He heard your thoughts, you're sure of it.

Did you upset him? If you did, does that mean you're right? There must be humanity left. There must be something... good. Somewhere. Remnants of his past self. Ben Solo slipping through the cracks of his sorrow built walls.

"Goodbye." You say, hearing the beeps of the code on the data pad to assure you he's not gone yet. You have no clue why you said that. Why the fuck did you say that? Habit, maybe.

The beeps stop, and your head flashes with doubt. That was a really stupid thing to say. He's going to be angry that you said that. He's going to grab you and insist you take it back. Your lungs feel weak as you race through the possibilities of why he's stopped leaving.

"Yes."

What?

The door closes behind him, leaving the lingering gruff of his voice to settle. He didn't sound happy to say it - the opposite, angry if anything - but he said it all the same. What does that mean? 'Yes' as in... he was saying goodbye back?

You huff, falling onto your back. You're constantly playing guessing games with him.

You don't want to be hung up on this, so you get up to put on clothes for the day. In your underwear draw, your white bra and underwear from before has appeared. Clean. Not perfect for activity, but you're glad your chest will have some support over nothing. You settle on shorts and a cami, deciding to avoid overheating like last time. The ship has a naturally cool draft, but you're starting to get used to it - and training always leaves you hot and bothered.

When you're in the gym room, your hand hovers over the data pad on the wall. You wonder what this room can do, but you still haven't gotten the hang of all this tech and you don't know what half of it means. This leaves you to blindly press at whatever seems to catch your eye, and after you do, you start to hear a strange mechanism from across the room.