Tweetie

55

She seemed okay with him after the conversation about him hating her. She apologised, she said she didn't mean anything by it. But he couldn't know for sure.

"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to it than you think, Ryan."

"How do you know?" He asked Fox. "Has she said anything to you?"

"Not necessarily."

"Then-"

"Give it a chance, Ryan," Leo said. "It's not a case of her hating you, is it? It's her thinking you don't like her. You're not going to make it any better by not talking about it. Maybe if you tell her how you feel, she'll understand that you don't hate her. Prove your point. She has a reason to think the way she does, and you'll understand when you speak to her."

He always made annoyingly valid points.

"But-"

"Ryan..." Joel pouted across from him, "you're being silly."

"Oh great, now Joel's picking on me."

There were so many words that he knew, he had read so many books, seen so many phrases. But still, none matched to the ones she said, none matched to even her simple greetings of 'hi' because they were written in the wrong voice. They weren't her, and he figured that while no word matched her, there were plenty of words to match him and how he felt. Yearning. An ache in his stomach that twisted and grew the more he thought about missing a chance, ruining a chance. He was torn.

"This is dumb..." He stood up, deciding he no longer wanted to sit at the table and instead wanted to pace around the empty room full of tables.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Leo asked. But Ryan could think of so many things.

She would never speak to him again, she would hate him, she would think he was lying, she would be hurt by him. There was so much. Maybe he needed more time to adjust to everything else. But, even then, he wanted her there while he adjusted. The ache grew.

"I think she likes you," Oscar mentioned.

It felt an awful lot like they were a bunch of thirteen year old girls talking about childish crushes. He didn't think this was childish, he hoped it wasn't. He had never felt so strongly about anyone else and she was so soft, and he really liked how her eyes looked into his and- he spiralled.

"Just call her and ask her to meet you. If you back out, then it's whatever. But, will you at least try? You're driving me insane."

"I don't know, I don't know," he shook his head, feeling himself grow more and more aggravated by the situation. This was what he didn't want. He appreciated his friends, he appreciated them helping. But he felt so unsure, so wound up from the fact that nothing was ever simple, he couldn't help but feel his teeth grit in the growing stress.

He tried to catch himself, to breathe, to just think. But thinking made it worse.

"Pass me my phone."

Leo reached into his bag, taking no time at all to find it abandoned at the bottom, turned off knowing nobody would ever get into contact with him because the only people that would were always with him.

He took it, grabbing it with a shaking hand and held it, waiting for it to turn on. And when it did, he lost his thoughts entirely, slipping into the panic of not wanting to get angry and within only seconds, he was holding the phone to his ear, grasping it as he walked in circles over and over. He felt ridiculous. She probably wasn't doing this over the thought of him. Then again, she was calm, soft, she wouldn't be angry over something so stupid.

"Hello-?"

"Tweetie." He snapped her name. He didn't mean to.

"Ryan," she said his name in that breathy voice, warm, soft and so caring. "Don't say a word."