Love Again ✔

8. An Angel

"For the love of God, please calm down, Rose." I rub my hand up and down her back and I'm pleasantly surprised when she shoves her face into my chest and wraps her arms around me tightly. "What do you mean cheated?"

"I didn't know y-you had a girlfriend. I ruined y-your relationship. Y-you didn't tell me. Is she the g-girl you told me about?" She continues crying and I barely make the words out.

"Who the fuck told you Lola was my girlfriend?" I frown in disgust.

"She did." Pulling away slightly, she looks up at me and I love the fact that she still has her arms around me. I don't know if I want to strangle Lola for causing her such distress, of thank her for bringing us this close.

"She lied." I assure her and she frowns deeper. "I slept with her twice a few months ago, but I couldn't shake her since. She keeps calling and texting and I didn't want to block her number because that seemed a little cruel but now that she made my angel cry I'll be sure to put an end to this."

"She's not your girlfriend?" She asks again skeptically, her breathing now back to normal except for a couple of hiccups.

"Not in a million years." I snort.

"And she's not the girl you're in love w-with?" She blinks at me and even though her eyes are puffy and her little nose is too red, she looks so fucking cute that I want to steal her away from this cruel world and keep her all safe and sound.

"Far, far from it." I shake my head.

"And you don't have a girlfriend?"

"I don't have a girlfriend." I confirm, slightly offended that she suspects I'm the kind of guy who would have a girlfriend and be in love with another, but I quickly shake it off. She still doesn't know me well enough.

"Oh." She frowns and sits up, pulling away from me completely. "She yelled at me and called me names, b-but she's not even your girlfriend. What a bitch!"

Surprised, I let out a laugh.

"I thought I ruined your relationship. I felt really, really guilty. I thought you'd be mad at me." She looks at me and I give her a smile.

"I could never be mad at you." I assure her.

"Well, I was going to be mad at you because you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend." She narrows her eyes at me, taking another deep breath and straightening her back.

I chuckle. "I told you the girl I'm in love with isn't ready for me yet. That's the truth."

She gives me a sad smile and I wonder why before she says, "tell me more about her?"

"Well," I start, scooting backwards till my back rests against the wall. "She has the most beautiful smile. The kind of smile that can light up a whole damn room. But she doesn't smile often."

She sighs dreamily, sitting beside me. "Tell me more."

"She is shy. She barely looks me in the eye when I speak with her. It makes her nervous, I guess, and I fucking hate it, because her eyes can bring me to my knees. She's really smart too, and a lot braver than she knows." I confess.

"You sound like you love her a lot." She comments quietly, but her smile is still there.

"I do. She's very lovable." I nod. Taking a deep breath, I clear my throat and decide to ask her something that has been bugging me for a while. "I have a question. But you don't have to answer it if you don't want to."

She narrows her eyes at me playfully and I'm glad that her mood is now much better than before. Shit, I might just ruin it again. "Are you trying to give me a pass so I would feel obligated to give you one in return?"

Chuckling, I shake my head. "No, Angel. I just don't want to push you. So you don't have to answer me, okay?"

"I told you I have nothing to hide, Maddox. Ask away." She shrugs and I take another deep breath.

"You said you got your heart broken last year." She stiffens slightly before slowly nodding her head. "Do you still love him? The guy who broke your heart?"

I watch her as she stares at me for a moment before she looks ahead, tugging her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She rests her chin on top of her knees before she takes a deep breath. "Honestly?"

I nod, my heart pounding with fear and worry alike. I'm too scared to hear her answer but I need to know.

"I honestly don't know." She shrugs sadly. "Sometimes when I think of him I find myself smiling, but then I would cry. Sometimes I think I'll never stop loving Jaxon. Other times I believe that I no longer have it in me to be in love with him."

I don't know what to make of an answer like that so I remain silent and clench my jaw.

"What I do know for sure, however, is that I don't want to love him anymore." Her confession catches my attention and I look at her as she stares ahead. "I don't want to love him, because in loving him I've learnt to hate myself. Jaxon didn't break my heart. I did that. The love I had for him is what ruined me. So how can I love something so cruel, so ugly? I don't know if I still love him or not, but I know that I don't want to be in love with him anymore. I can't even afford to. Nothing good came out of that love."

I guess that's better than a yes anyway, so I'll happily take it.

"You don't stutter with me anymore." I tell her and her head snaps in my direction.

She's silent for a moment, her eyes wide at the realization before she grins so damn beautifully I feel the breath knocking right out of me. "I don't, do I?"

"When you're crying, or really nervous you do. But when we're just talking, you no longer stutter with me, Angel." My grin matches hers.

She tilts her head to the side. "Why do you call me that?"

"Can I have that pass now?" I ask in return and she laughs. Fucking hell, the sound of her laughter makes my damn stomach flip.

"I answered your question, didn't I? Come on. You promised me honesty." She nudges my shoulder with hers and my breath hitches in my throat. This is the first time she initiates physical contact between us and I'm on the top of the fucking world.

"I also said I don't want to overwhelm you." I remind her.

"What does that even mean? How can you overwhelm me?" She frowns.

I sigh at her stubbornness and decide to tell her the truth, hoping she doesn't freak out. "I call you Angel because the first time I ever saw you you were wearing a white dress that made you look like an angel."

She blinks at me, her eyes softening. "When was that?"

"A year and a half ago." I reply trythfully and she gasps.

"How can you remember something as small as that?" She looks at me with fascination and I love how she can't take a hint.

I shrug because no answer I have to that question wouldn't have her running for the hills. Instead, I ask, "Wanna study?"

"No way I can tonight. I have a major headache from all the crying. Sorry, but maybe tomorrow?" She smiles at me and I'd give her my damn heart on a silver plater if she asks for it.

"Sure." I nod. "How about a movie then? Is that okay?"

I just don't want to leave yet so I'm glad as shit when she nods her head and grabs her laptop. We pick an action movie that I don't even bother catching the name of before we settle back down on her bed, side by side, our backs resting against the headboard. My shoulder touches her accidentally when I lean over to adjust the volume and she doesn't flinch away. She seems totally unbothered by it that my heart is filled with hope.

Half an hour through the movie, I hear her soft breathing. I shut her laptop, help her lie down and cover her with her blanket before I grab a piece of paper and a pen to leave her a note and head to my dorm with a shit eating grin on my face.

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Thoughts and opinions, everyone! I'm dying to know how you feel about this.

Definitely my new favorite chapter.