Love Again ✔

4. Tell Me What To Do

Maddox (Theo):

What the fuck just happened? Fuck, I shouldn't have said that. Why did I even say that?

She told me she wanted a secret and watching her look at me with those big beautiful gray eyes of hers did something to my damn heart. She just looked so curious and so fucking beautiful, I couldn't think of anything else.

But why did she react that way? She fucking cried because I told her I was in love. I don't even know what I said wrong.

"Ella?" Standing outside the woman's restroom, I knock on the door when I hear her sniffing inside. "Please talk to me."

A couple of seconds later, she walks back outside and I notice her puffy eyes still red and glossy because of me. I've never felt more mad with myself than I do right now. The first encounter that we had, when I left her after promising to catch her and talk later, comes as a close second. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yes. I'm sorry." She mumbles shyly, refusing to meet my eyes. Eye contact makes her nervous and I find that I hate it when she does that.

"You have nothing to apologize for." I shake my head with a sigh. "I don't know what it is, but I'm sorry for whatever I said that made you cry. I never meant to do that."

Her eyes widen and she quickly looks at me while shaking her head. "N-no. You did nothing w-wrong. Please don't feel guilty. I'm j-just really emotional. It's not your f-fault at all."

I honestly have no clue what to say. I feel like no matter what I come up with, I always fuck this up. And suddenly the idea of being with the woman I love seems like nothing but a daydream hovering above my head, taunting me. Tiredly, I sigh and give her a small smile. "Do you want me to take you back to your room?"

Her eyes begin to water again and she shrugs sadly. "If that's what you w-want."

I frown. Not in a million fucking years. "Not at all. But if you're not comfortable or if you wish to go back, just say the word."

"I'm alright." She states and my smile turns into a real one as we walk back to our abandoned table.

"Can we go back to o-our game?" She asks before munching on a couple of fries and I instantly nod. "W-well, it's y-your turn."

"I told you a secret. Tell me one too?" I take a bite out of my juicy burger and almost moan at how good it tastes, but keep my attention on her. She fiddles with her fingers before carefully taking a sip out of her coke.

"I'm r-really scared of you."

I stiffen, my movements frozen, my heart breaking, as silence envelops us. She's scared of me. My angel is scared of me.

Placing the burger back down carefully, I swallow as I watch her shift uncomfortably in her seat. Well, there goes my fucking hope out of the window. "Why?"

"Because I don't know what y-your intentions are. I don't know w-what you want. I don't know how you think. I don't know i-if you're a good person. I don't like p-people. I don't like that they can h-hurt me, even unintentionally. And you're a person, so." She shrugs as if what she's saying isn't a big deal. As if my heart isn't breaking right now.

"I would never, ever hurt you, Ella. Never." I close my eyes and shake my head, willing this piercing pain through my chest to go away.

"You don't have to w-want to hurt me for it to h-happen. Sometimes, people who c-care about you do ev-everything in their power to save you from p-pain, but they still end up breaking you anyway. I don't w-want to get hurt anymore." Ella speaks through experience and I get another glimpse of what this past year has done to her. I wish I could've been there for her somehow. I wish I could've saved her from the pain that broke her like this.

"And I think there's a w-way we could p-prevent that from happening again." She suggests, her eyes searching mine for an answer.

"Anything. Whatever it is that you believe will make you feel safer with me, just say it and it's done. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it." I mean every word. I don't even care how pathetically eager I sound. Being scared of me is the last thing I ever want her to feel.

"Promise that you'll always be op-open and honest, please. That you w-won't say anything you don't truly mean and that y-you won't keep anything from me either." Ella takes a deep breath before continuing, "I mean, for as long as we're acquainted with each other. I h-hope I'm not asking for too much. You wanted me to help y-you study and I gladly will, but all I'm asking f-for in return is honesty and openness. I don't like s-secrets and I don't like having to guess or w-wonder. And please don't ever as-assume anything when it comes to me. If you have a question just a-ask me and I'll be honest, always. And I'll do the same. N-no assumptions on my part. I promise."

Well, fuck.

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What do you think of this chapter? I love it.