Mad

Penelope

"Penelope Featherington?"

Penelope had been in the garden's searching for Eloise when she heard someone say her name. She peered behind a statue and noticed a group of gentlemen in front of her, one of the gentlemen being Colin. She paused for a brief moment, forgetting her search for her best friend to listen to their conversation. 'Why would they be speaking of me?' thought Penelope.

"The way you were dancing with her looked rather interesting?" said one of the gentlemen who Penelope believed was Lord Fyfe. Penelope recalled that Lord Fyfe and his friends have been staring at her and Colin when they shared a dance earlier in the evening. "You courting the girl Bridgerton?" asked Lord Fyfe.

Penelope waited in bated breath for Colin's response. They were indeed not courting merely friends however much Penelope wanted it to be the former. She felt her breath leave her body as she heard Colin's response.

"Are you mad? I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington. Not in your wildest fantasies Fyfe," he had said while the gentlemen around him laughed. A rush of sadness seemed to swallow Penelope. She knew that there was not the slightest chance that Colin would ever court her, but she thought that he was her friend. That he saw beyond the chubby, insipid wallflower and saw her for who she truly was. When they were dancing, he had said that she was special to him and that he would always look after her. Stupidly, she had believed him. 'Why had he said that to her if he was just going to turn around and insult her to his friends,' thought Penelope. He had an insinuated that anyone would be mad to even think of courting her. Penelope was on the verge of turning and running away when one of the gentlemen in the group looked past Colin's shoulder and saw that Penelope was standing there and had heard everything that Colin had said.

"Oh dear," said the gentleman.

Colin had looked up at his friend and had turned around to see what he was looking at. Penelope watched as his face paled, and his mouth opened in shock.

"Pen, I did not know you were there," said Colin clearly embarrassed at the situation that he found himself in.

As Penelope took in Colin's face which was getting redder by the moment her sadness dissipated and, in its place, developed an overwhelming anger.

"Clearly, Mr. Bridgerton," replied Penelope coldly.

Colin winced at the sound of his formal name from Penelope's lips.

"I did not mean it as it sounded Pen," said Colin frantically. "I am truly sorry if I have offended you." He did truly look sorry, but Penelope was not ready to forgive so easily.

Penelope at that moment mustered up all of her courage and began walking towards Colin. The other gentlemen who had the decency to look chagrined backed up so they she could stand in front of him. She forced herself to look him directly in his eyes, those beautiful green eyes.

"What did you mean it to sound like?" asked Penelope sternly.

"What you do you mean?" asked Colin.

"When you asked Lord Fyfe if he was mad because he thought that you were courting me. What did you mean it to sound like?"

Colin's mouth opened and closed like a fish clearly at a loss for words. He looked to the gentlemen around him for help, but they remained silent looking at their boots.

"Because you made it seem like any gentlemen who might be interested in courting me would be mad. Mr. Bridgerton, I expect this type of behavior from other gentlemen of the ton," said Penelope gesturing to his so-called friends before turning her attention back to him. "But not you. I thought you were my friend, that you would protect me, but it turns out that you are just like every other gentlemen at this party, shallow and cruel. I know that I am not the diamond of the season and that I am only an insipid wallflower, but I do not deserve to be treated so horribly and in so public of a manner."

"Pen," Colin said desperately.

Penelope held her hand up to quiet him. "Do not address me so informally Mr. Bridgerton. Only my friends or family call me Pen and you are neither. Good evening," she said before taking her leave.

Penelope waited to cry until she was in the safety of her rooms. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she looked up at the fireworks that lit up the night sky. It was in that moment that she made a promise to herself. She would no longer be the wallflower desperately waiting for her life to begin. Penelope would no longer let Cressida Cowper or anyone else in the ton treat her like a pin cushion for their barbs. She had made mistakes, particularly in regard to her being Lady Whistledown but she refused to give it up. Lady Whistledown was her passion and her legacy. She would do better, be better and most importantly she would forget about Colin Bridgerton.