One String Attached

68.

.Riley.

That following Wednesday, I sat in the hospital waiting room with Piper by my side on the chair next to mine.
We had Autumn's appointment today to do a check-up but James stayed at home with Asher and Aaliyah. I didn't want them to hobble along with us because it would just be too much to handle. 

James and I were still yet to have a proper conversation between us. We were giving each other the space we needed for now and I think both of us could respect the fact that we needed some time to think to ourselves. I still hadn't fully processed everything yet.
As much as I want us to go back to what we were like before all this and even though we were getting there during Regionals, I guess the rough patch inside of me still hadn't fully healed.

"Hey, pumpkin," Piper coos, looking down into the pram where her niece lay, open-eyed and wide awake.
She stretches her hand out to brush my daughter's small tufts of hair lightly before joining their hands together, but Autumn doesn't move much, she just lays still, looking up in front of her.

I hold in my breath, looking away from Autumn and towards Piper. She seemed to see nothing wrong with it and was acting as though everything was normal but I couldn't be sure. Aut had been having the same kind of troubles as Aaliyah when it came to breastfeeding, and it might just be my mind but she hasn't been as interactive as I would expect a ten-week-old baby to be. It might be the fact that she's premature but I'm not sure. Something didn't seem right.

"It is normal for babies to be this emotionless, right?" I ask piper, who seemed to be way too attached to my daughter, despite the fact there was hardly any interaction going on.
"What do you mean emotionless?" she questions back, finally pulling away and swivelling her head around to look at me. I sigh, shaking my head.

"Usually at two months old, you'd expect babies to be more inquisitive and curious. They'd start making their moves more deliberate, start sucking on their thumbs and fingers, try holding onto small objects, smile when you smile down at them," I list off, only making Piper grow more concerned.
"Haven't you noticed that she's hardly doing any of that?"

She goes silent even after I've tried explaining, and she looks at me in confusion. No one else had really pointed it out until now, but I'd been thinking it for a long time. It was just like this with Aaliyah. There was a slow kind of development but no one had ever said anything about it, it was always just me.

 Obviously, back then, no one wanted to believe me though. I was a mess and no one took me seriously. Even when I spoke to James about it, he told me I was overthinking. Maybe he's right. 

But then again, at the same time, maybe he's not correct. Maybe it's just a mother's instinct and the reason why no one around me can understand is because they aren't mothers. Deborah was the one who originally told me to get an appointment, so I know I can't be going crazy.

"It's probably nothing, Ri," Piper tells me, which just clarifies my point. She wouldn't understand no matter how much I try to explain to her. 

As a mother, you're able to tell when your baby is healthy or not and whether something is wrong.
Asher was perfectly fine as a child and so I can easily spot the differences between him when he was a baby and what Aaliyah was like. Autumn's easily going down the same route as Aaliyah.

"Riley and Autumn Davis?" one of the nurses calls as she enters the waiting room with a clipboard in hand.
I look up at the sound of my name and then smile at her as best I could when she smiles down at me.

"Hold the things for me, yeah?" I say to Piper who nods her head as I take Autumn out of the buggy and then hold her against my chest while I follow the female's lead.