One String Attached

4.

.James.

We got home late that day after choosing to take the kids to a local theme park where we had chosen to spend the majority o the day before finding our way to a restaurant later in the evening to eat.
It was nine o'clock at night now and both Asher and Aaliyah had been put to bed around about an hour ago.

I was still yet to talk to Riley about what had clearly been bothering her all day but I knew I had to wait for the kids to be tucked away in bed first before being able to ask her anything at all. I know that no matter what the situation is, Riley would never want the children to get involved, especially Aaliyah.
She's never really been the reserved kind of child but more so the curious one who's always asking 'why' something is what it is. It's one of the many reasons why we've always just told her that I was her dad and that was all that mattered. I loved her as much as I loved Asher and in my eyes, she was my daughter.

Right now, Riley was laying down on the couch, this time with her laptop over the top o the blanket which was covering her thighs.
I finished washing the plates and then made my way over to the sofa she was sat on before perching my body onto the edge of the sofa. Pulling her legs up to rest over the top of my lap, it causes her to look up at me and send me a light smile before going back to looking towards the screen of her laptop.

"Ri," I call her gently, placing my hand on top of her knees. She hums in response, getting me to sigh as I contemplate over what I wanted to say to her. "Is there something you need to tell me?"
"What do you mean?" she then asks me, making me bite my lip whilst clearing my throat. 

I look at her for a second, trying to take in her current demeanour as her eyes had widened by the littlest bit but she continued to look between myself and her laptop.
I shake my head, knowing she knew exactly what I was talking about. It was inevitable.

"You and Emily didn't go to the studio, did you?" I ask her, a slightly harsh tone in my voice. She looks down, her lip quivering a little which only clarifies my point.
She doesn't answer my question, just remains silent, which makes me exhale before I turn my body around to the side to take her hands into mine.
"What happened?"

"Nothing," she mumbles but I shake my head at her again. She could lie to anyone else but I knew her best.
"You really think you're getting that past me?"
"I'm not trying to get anything past you."
"Don't lie to me," I tell her, the tone of my voice a mix of austerity and tenderness. I had to be firm with her if I wanted to find out even the smallest detail. 

Ri's a very conserved person. She doesn't share information if she thinks it'll have a bad consequence and as much as that can be a good quality, it's also very much a downfall. She puts all the stress and worry on her shoulders and takes on way too much than she can chew.
She had been doing it an awful lot lately. For the past two or three months, something had definitely been on her mind and it was obvious. However, every time I attempted to bring it up and work my way back into her head, she only ever shut me down and told me not to worry about it. What she doesn't know is that I am worried. I think Riley's the only thing that I truly worry about.

"I'm not lying to you, James," she tells me, licking her lower lip. "We met to get coffee and talk then ran a few errands a the studio, got to the park to meet up with you and that was that," she says with the shrug of her shoulders as she continued to hold onto my hands. "You can ask Emily if you don't trust me," she mutters under her breath, making my breathing hitch as I sigh to myself.

It wasn't that I didn't trust her. It was that in this current moment, I just couldn't believe her. I knew her almost as well as I knew myself, if not more than that. I can tell when something's up.
"That's what I thought," she mumbles after acknowledging my silencer, then she lets go of my palms and goes back to looking at hr laptop which had been placed in front of her eyes.

It took only a few couple of seconds before a par of footsteps came running down the staircase at the speed of light, making me look up at the same time as Ri for both of our sets of eyes to land on Aaliyah.
She stood before us in her princess pyjama dress, her hair a whirlwind of a mess as it remained frizzy all over.
The only possible way you would be able to tell Liyah wasn't my daughter was because of her blonde curls and blue eyes which she had inherited from Bryson. She had Riley's nose, lips and petite frame, but the rest of Bryson's features, that much was obvious.

With Asher, you could tell he was my blood because of not only his skin-tone, but also his curly brown hair which was a blend of both mine and Riley's hair colours, somewhere between hazelnut and chestnut, just like his eyes.

"I can't sleep," Liyah pouts, walking over towards the sofa before clambering onto my lap with my assistance. She wraps her arms tight around me and buries her head against my chest. 
Sighing, I kiss the top of her head before slowly and gently beginning to rub her back.

"Want me to read you a bedtime story?" I ask her softly, looking at Ri from out of the corner of my eye to find her biting her lip, her cheeks sheepishly red due to our previous conversation.
"No," Aaliyah whispers. "I just want a huggle," she tells me, causing me to chuckle lightly before wrapping my arms around her just as much.

A hug and a cuddle makes a huggle.
It had been mine and Aaliyah's thing since the day I could remember. 

I was going to pick her up from Nursery but as soon as her eyes landed on mine when I had entered the building, her pupils seemed to light up and she ran over to me on her two three-year-old legs. I had bent down to take her in my arms whilst Riley stood to my side, laughing softly as her daughter immediately wrapped my arms around me.
"A hug and a cuddle makes a huggle," Aaliyah whispered into my ear before she pulled away from me, then she pressed her small, little index finger to my lips to shush me as she smiled, shaking her head. "But don't tell Mummy, Daddy. It's our thing."

"I'm going to check on Asher," Riley spoke up, smiling curtly before leaving the living room to make her way upstairs.
But she pretty much ran up that staircase like Wonder Woman, and just that little act made me realise that she wasn't doing okay right now.

.Riley.

Reaching the landing upstairs, I quickly enter my children's joint bedroom to find my baby boy perfectly recumbent, fast asleep in his little cot. His hands were clenched fists by his head as he lay on his side, mouth open agog as his round cheeks went in and out continuously while he breathed. I smiled at him softly from where I was stood by the frame of the door and then I switched the light off before making my way towards mine and James's room opposite.

But as soon as I entered, my eyes landed on a photo of the two of us from a couple of years back and almost immediately, the smile on my face falters.
I'd been trying to hold myself together all day but ever since meeting up with Bryson this morning, I've been an emotional wreck.

I reach for the one photo of Aaliyah and Asher I had kept in a frame on my bedside drawer and then I hold it in my hands as I sink to the floor, my back leaning against the bed to support me as I tried to keep everything inside. That day was the day of mine and James's wedding and Liyah was a flower girl. 
Seeing my two adorable children only seems to stir me up even more as the usual thoughts begin to consume my mind again.
Why? How?

The door was closed which meant neither Asher or Aaliyah would be able to enter, considering they still weren't quite tall enough to reach the door handle, and I was thankful for that.
I didn't even want James to know about this, let alone the kids.

This is my problem that I have to deal with and I will deal with it my way.