For the love and vampires

chapter eleven

Good morning my sun." I hear as I open my eyes.

Stretching my body, I smell the deliciousness that is Rues cooking.

"Good morning Rue." I low key expected to be embarrassed or nervous but looking at the gorgeous girl sitting in front of me, I only feel love. "I love you William."

"I love you too, Ocean."

We spend the rest of the morning in bed, tracing each other's bodies, talking about everything and nothing. It's easy, peaceful, safe. Much like everything is with my Rue. And I find myself wishing we can stay in this moment forever. Never growing, never leaving, never looking away. Just happy.

But of course, life doesn't abide by our plans, by our wishes, our hopes, and goals. Life has its own plan and no matter how much you try and beg, life will bring you along, kicking and screaming if it has to.

--

Today is the first date I had planned for me and Will. I was so excited. I spent all of last night cooking and baking with Sue.

I had planned to have a picnic at my favourite spot by the cliffs. I had, of course told Rue nothing about what we are doing today. Wanting it to be a surprise. I also didn't want to know if she didn't like it.

I spend an hour getting dressed. Over the past three months that I've known Rue, I have put more and more effort into the way I look. For today I chose a green dress with princess sleeves, a green cardigan because cold and some black heeled boots. I think I look fierce.

Will said she'd pick me up at 2pm, giving us enough time to drive to whenever we were going. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was only a 10-minute drive followed by a 30-minute trek through the woods, well for humans that is. For vampires it was like .5 seconds.

However, sitting here on the step of Charlie's front porch at 2:57 pm, I think she might have forgot.

Deciding I'd wait till three to make my way to her house but seeing as she hadn't responded to my 4 messages and 2 missed calls I wait out the next three minutes with extreme impatience.

Maybe she just forgot?

Driving through the beautiful forest on the way to the Cullen house could never be stressful, and I wouldn't let my mind listen to the intrusive thoughts and images of her dead body because that's just not realistic. Who murders on a Sunday? It's the lords day.

Trying my absolute best, and low-key failing, to ignore my racing heart I walk into the house that never fails to take my breath away and make my way to the stairs.

Before I could even get there I see a gathering of every single vampire I know, bar the missing love of my life, sitting around the fireplace.

"Hey guys is William here ? We have a date." I ask, willing my nerves to turn to excitement.

I don't think I've ever seen anything other than contempt and disgust on graces face, so the pity and guilt painted through her expression was a sharp contrast

"What, did something happen? Is she okay? Oh, fuck she's not standing me up is she?" I laugh it off hoping there's just been a minor misunderstanding.

However, my laughter is cut short when I hear foreign giggles coming down the hall followed shortly by William.

Holding hands with a blonde I've never seen before. Okay. New situation for me. Don't embarrass yourself ocean.

Best case scenario? They're friends and they've known each other for ever and the friend is 100% straight.

Worst case scenario? William is cheating on me. Or is about to cheat on me but is too nice of a person to admit that she likes this other girl more than me so for the next couple of months I get to sit back and watch as she falls madly in love with this other girl all the while ensuring me they are just friends while our relationship falls apart piece by piece.

So fun no matter what.

My internal speculation is cut wildly short as I watch the blonde place a small but meaningful kiss on Williams lips. My heart is cut into a thousand pieces when William kisses her right back.

I drop the picnic basket on the ground, the remnants of the date I had planned fallen onto the floor along with the rest of my heart.

I was going to tell her everything today. We were going to cry. She was going to hold me. It would have gotten really awkward, and I would have made some wildly inappropriate joke and we would have laughed. We would have stayed at the edge of my favourite cliff for hours talking about everything and nothing. We would look up to the stars and I would explain my love for them pointing out each constellation like she couldn't name and identify each of them with her eyes closed.

Today would open up the next chapter of our lives. And in a way I guess it did, just not the chapter I had hoped for.

Turning around I try and block out each of the Cullen's shouts of my name. Over the past few months, I guess they had become like family. Now as I walk away in what feels like slow motion, I can feel whatever bond I had grown with each and every one slipping away.

Getting into my car I feel as if my body is on auto pilot. Trying to protect me from whatever reaction William would have to the calls of my name. I don't even think she realised I was there.

The pain not feeling as foreign as I would have hoped. Mechanically arriving to what has become my home, briefly noting both Charlie and sues absences, I make my way up to my bedroom , remembering the first time I had walked through this door, the hollowness, the vacancy of the walls, I don't remember when they started feeling like home, when the barren turned to warmth when the bleak turned to comfort.

I can't help but think to myself as I burrow my way under the same yellow cotton sheets sue had bought me on just my second day here, "I knew this was going to hurt."