Foggy Nights

Thursday, April 28th

It's been two weeks after our reception. Charlie has just had the same symptoms over and over. He was always drowsy, his eyes got easily infected, and he was very depressed.

He was getting worse and worst of all, we'd found out that he was at stage three of this cancerous disease.

It was released to us a few days ago, but when he gets into stage four, he will be lost in the world around him. And the worst part of that is, is that he won't remember anything of it.

What surprised me the most was when I went to the bathroom and found Charlie shaving his head yesterday. He really looked shocked when I asked him why he was doing what he was doing without telling anyone he needed help.

He said that basically if he was going to have surgery on his brain in the near future, he needed it shaved, so the doctors could just go over it with a razor.

I told him that he was crazy and that it wasn't going to happen. He ignored me and kept buzzing his head. He looked like he had a mullet with the top shaved.

I snatched the clippers from his hand, and helped him shave the rest of his head.

I felt his head and told him that we were doing this together. For him, alone.

So, I took the clippers and buzzed straight through the middle of my head.

Charlie was ecstatic and he cried tears of joy.

I didn't stop, until I had buzzed the rest of the long hair I had. Charlie cleaned up what I had missed, though.

"Thank you, Andy. You have no idea how much this means to me."

He hugged me and kissed my forehead.

Then our mother had passed by the bathroom, that was a big mistake.

She yelled at us for shaving our heads and said that we could've told her that we wanted to get buzz cuts. She or a barber would've done it for us. She was basically just mad at us and the mess on the bathroom floor.

We agreed to clean it up after we told her the reason behind and before when I found Charlie with half his head of hair gone.

She loosened up after she heard our side of the story. I knew that she loved us, but right now, she was very disappointed with our sudden decision.

I hated when we swept up the hair over the entire bathroom floor. Mine was like a small pile of sand, while Charlie's was in piles everywhere. I loved Charlie's hair. He looked so different now...

Well, after that was done, we took a shower together and kinda just let the water hit us to relax us.

We were told to take a quick shower to rinse off clippings of hair. We eventually did, and I was mad at myself for cutting my hair off to be a supportive husband.

It worked, but I kinda think that I look really weird. It just didn't look like me.

It was new and annoying, even if it was soft and healthy. I really wished that I didn't shave my head, along with Charlie.

I guess that FFI makes you do crazy things.

That was my last assumption for FFI.

Another thing that I noticed was that Charlie was loosing weight fast, no matter how we fed him.

But, that's stage three of FFI for you.

But that's not the main symptom of the terminal disease. He was getting really ill and there was absolutely nothing that we could do about it. He was going to die young because of it. I hated that because I'd spend the rest of my life without him.

If only I could be there with him, but I would go down and he'd be up with the angels, while I'd be with the heartless demons. I can't kill myself and be with Charlie.

I wish I was the one dying, but I wasn't. Felt like it but wasn't.

Because of Charlie's medical condition, he's doing school work online now, it's kinda like homeschooling, but not.

I miss him a lot more now this way.