Regretting Reject

Brainless Git Gilderoy

[not edited]

Draco's P.O.V

When Lockhart opened the door to our Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, everybody hesitated before going in. I wouldn't blame them, I mean who could know what this lunatic is up to. Last lesson, he brought a whole cage full of wild pixies. Not that any pixies are tamed. And it was, well, chaotic. He didn't even know how to fix it.

But, fortunately, there wasn't any live creatures when we entered the room. Instead, he was looking rather nervous. I mean, I would too if I had nearly killed a room of twelve-year-olds on the first day of my job.

We all tried to take a seat as far away from him as possible and as close to the the door as possible, incase we needed an emergency escape. He must've sensed the awkward tension in the air because he started to laugh awkwardly and said, "C'mon children, I won't bite."

And in that moment, everyone inside of the room shared the same thought.

It's not the biting we're afraid of, but it's your lack of brain that we're afraid of.

The unlucky people who couldn't find a good seat reluctantly shuffled towards the front of the room. The second bell rang and the class began. To be honest, I don't care how he teaches, it's boring no matter what.

And every two minute, he'd ask for a volunteer. Naturally, nobody raised their hands, so Potter ended up going in front of the class. I swear to god, I have never felt so relieved to not have such fame myself. Imagine going up there and doing what that lunatic tells us to do. I think I'd rather be in Hufflepuff house than to go up there.

And if you know me, you'll know that's something.

"Nice loud howl, Harry – exactly – and then, if you'll believe it, I pounced."

"Bullshit." I coughed half way through and people sitting near me started to giggle.

Lockhart must've thought that was a good sign, so he went on, "– like this – slammed him to the floor – thus – with one hand, I managed to hold him down – with my other, I put my wand to his throat – then I screw up my remaining strength and performed the immensely complex Homorphus Charm – he let out a piteous moan – go on, Harry –"

We watch closely as Harry decides his fate. Was he really going to do it? He look at his friends, sitting on the first two rows. He rolled his eyes and let out a high pitched moan, "– higher than that – good – the fur vanished – the fangs shrank – and he turned back into a man. Simple, yet effective – and another village will remember me forever as the hero who delivered them for the monthly terror of werewolf attacks."

The bell rang and everybody scrambled out as he tells us the homework we had to do.

I sort of feel bad for Gilderoy Lockhart. He'll probably be mocked by the students for the rest of his time here. But then again, he nearly murdered us so I couldn't really care.

* * *

Clarissa's P.O.V

Everybody quietly and slowly filed into the classroom slowly, and at the very front of the room, Professor Lockhart was standing there, empty handed. Which was definitely a good sign. After all, he did bring wild pixies to our class last time and ran off leaving the four of us to clean it up for him.

Instead, he would read passages from his book to us. And, to be honest, he's a pretty good writer. Too bad he never did any of those thing that he had wrote down.

And once in a while, he would re-enact the more dramatic parts. He would ask for volunteers, but we all know who he was going to pick. Not that anyone wanted the volunteer anyways.

"Nice loud howl, Harry – exactly – and then, if you'll believe it, I pounced – like this – slammed him down to the floor – thus – with one hand, I managed to hold him down – with my other, I put my wand to his throat – I then screwed up my remaining strength and performed the immensely complex Homorphus Charm – he let out a piteous moan – go on, Harry – higher than that – good – the fur vanished – the fangs shrank – and he turned back into a man. Simple, yet effective – and another village will remember me forever as the hero who delivered them from the monthly terror of werewolf attacks."

The bell rang and Professor Lockhart got to his feet, "Homework: compose a poem about my defeat of the Wagga Wagga werewolf! Signed copies of Magical Me to the author of the best one!"

The class left and the only ones left were the four of us.

"All right..." Hermione muttered nervously.

She approached Professor Lockhart's desk, a piece of paper clutched tightly in her hand, and the four of us stood closely behind her.

"Er – Professor Lockhart?" She started nervously, "I wanted to – to get this book out of the library. Just for background reading. But the thing is, it's in the restricted section of the library, so I need a teacher to sign for it – I'm sure it would help me understand what you say in Gadding with Ghouls about slow-acting venoms ..."

"Ah, Gadding with Ghouls!" Professor Lockhart said, taking the note from Hermione's hand and smiling rather broadly, "Possibly my very favourite book. You enjoyed it?"

"Oh, yes. So clever, the way you trapped that last one with the tea-strainer ..." She sounded as if she was able to go on and on forever about it.

"Well, I', sure no one will mind me giving the best student in the year a little extra help," Professor Lockhart said, not stopping to rest his cheeks and pulled out a gigantic peacock quill.

"Yes, nice, isn't it?" He said misreading Ron's expression, " I usually save ti for book-signings."

"So, Harry," He said as he finishes his signature, "Tomorrow's the first Quidditch match of the season, I believe? Gryffindor against Slytherin, is it not? I hear you're a useful player. I was a Seeker, too. I was asked to try for the National Squad."

Ron snorted, I managed to save him by saying 'bless you', pulling it off as a sneeze.

"But preferred to dedicate my life to the eradication of the Dark Forces. Still, if ever you feel the need for a little private training, don't hesitate to ask. Always happy to pass on my experties to less able players ..."

Harry nodded, not knowing what to say in return. We quickly said our goodbyes and headed out.

"I don't believe it, he didn't even look at the book we wanted." Harry said, laughing.

"That's because he's a brainless git, " Ron said confidently, "but who cares, we've got what we needed."

"He is not a brainless git,"

"Just because he said you were the best student in the year ..."

"Not true." Hermione said defensively.

"Oh remember when he said that he was asked to be try for the National Squad." I said bursting out laughing.

"Oh yeah, that was a close call, thanks for covering up for me, by the way." Ron said laughing along. And Harry joined in.

"You guys are completely insane."

"You know it's funny." We started to poke Hermione, "You know it is."

She eventually gave up, "Okay, okay. Maybe it was a little bit funny."

* * *

A/N

oh god guys, the new wattpad writing format is so clean and so pretty. i think i'm gonna die. and sorry for not updating, but i had a valid reason. b/c of wattpad's new update, we weren't allowed to write 4 a couple days so yeah.

yay! my first valid reason for late updates! wooh!

and i'm pretty proud of my chapter name :)

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– DRACOLUCIUSMALFOI – ( that's my sign off thingy from now on )