𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘

Chapter 12

Oh, and I can remember dancing with that idiot from Dervish and Banges and telling him all about how much I missed Harry, but how I wasn't going to apologise first because Harry was clearly in the wrong. Oh, I was so drunk.

Five minutes later.

Oh God! Oh no! Oh my God. I've just remembered something awful! Oh, I think I'm going to be sick again... okay, false alarm. Oh, this is the worst thing that could have happened.

I think that I may have kissed that guy at the gig last night. I remember being really drunk and saying that I was feeling dizzy. He said that he'd take me outside for some fresh air. I was laughing and leaning on him because I couldn't stand up properly. Oh, I'm such a bad person. I'd been flirting with him because I wanted to get back at Harry, but I honestly never intended anything to happen. He really wasn't my type and he was really smarmy. I can remember being outside, rambling on about something stupid, when he leaned in and kissed me. I knew that it was wrong and I knew that I wanted nothing to do with this guy, but for a couple of seconds... I kissed him back. He tasted of beer and cigarettes, and I really didn't like it. I pushed him away and told him to get lost, trying to get back inside. He tried to stop me, but I told him that if he didn't leave me alone I would put a Diminishing Hex on his penis.

Oh, I'm horrible. I am a horrible person and a horrible boyfriend. Okay, all right, all is not lost. Nobody knows about it. I was hardly in control of my actions. I didn't want to kiss that loser, and I stopped as soon as I was aware of what was happening. See, this has just proven to me that I only ever want to be with Harry. I don't care about my reputation, I don't care about only having slept with two people in my life, I don't care about the bloody Quidditch match. Harry is wonderful and I want to be with him forever.

Whether he'll want to be with me now is another matter. Oh, how the hell am I going to tell him? 'Hi, Harry. I know that I acted like a complete spoiled brat yesterday and asked you to do something really unreasonable – sorry about that. The thing is, I know that I said I didn't want to go to the gig any more, but I decided to go anyway, just to spite you. Then I got really drunk and made a complete fool of myself. Oh, and I also snogged some hideous loser because I wanted to get back at you. Even though you didn't do anything wrong. Sorry about that. So... want to go to dinner together?' Oh, bloody bollocking fucking hell.

Later that evening.

I just got a letter from Harry.

Dear Draco,

I am so sorry about what happened yesterday. It was such a stupid argument. I want you to know that you are a thousand times more important to me than a stupid Quidditch match. If I'd known at the start of the year that you'd end up meaning so much to me I would have quit the team. It's impossible for me to drop out now – I can't let everyone down. Just know that it's only a game. I love you and I'm really sorry. Please can we see each other tomorrow – I miss you.

Love Harry. xxxxx

I am the spawn of Satan. What the hell am I going to do? Poor Harry is feeling really bad, when he did absolutely nothing wrong. I've sent him a letter apologising for my behaviour and telling him that I love him. Well, there's no way that I can tell him about the kiss now. It meant absolutely nothing. It was a stupid mistake and Harry never needs to find out about it. I'll just have to live in a constant state of guilt and paranoia for the rest of my life. I can do that. The important thing is that Harry never finds out.

Monday 18th April.

Dear Diary,

Well, I appear to have reached an entire new level of badness. I have just got back from meeting Harry. Okay. I am not going to panic. He doesn't know anything, everything will be fine. Breathe, Draco, breathe.