desperate// yugbam

31 💗

"anyone you hate now? People hate you but you have the right to hate too." Jaebeom added getting up and throwing the wrapper away. "Got another one?"
Bambam laughed, "no. I'll bring you another tomorrow." He shrugged his shoulders, "I hate mark and I hate Jackson. Those two are a pair of sneaky— ugh there's no words! they're just such... bad people."

"Why do you hate them? You hate mark because of the fight?"

"No... i hate him because he recorded me with yugyeom." Bambam said lowly. Jaebeom jaw dropped,, jaebeom didn't watch the video. He heard about it and the news spread like wildfire that day but he didn't know the background information or who was the recorder.

"Holy shit.." jaebeom laughed in disbelief, "why would he do that? All these damn grudges gonna kill us all." Bambam just sat and stared at nothing. this was going to be a long, painful life. This stuff will follow him forever it seems.
"Honestly, fuck mark. Right now I want to hear from jinyoung,, I feel like when he finds out, I don't even want to imagine. He's going to murder me and disown me."

"Right. and why do you hate Jackson again? I'm still pretty cool with him" Jackson said drumming his fingers against his lap, rocking a melody inside his head.

"Well I don't know this for sure but jinyoung said mark and Jackson showed up to his house the same night mark recorded. So I'm guessing Jackson was in it too."
"Why would Jackson—?"
"We kissed in the car."

"Y'all what? When?" Jaebeom laughed into his hand being completely grossed out. Bambam laughed with him and hit his elbow playfully
"Beginning of the school year, did you ever hear about us stealing Chans car from the student parking?" Jaebeom shook his head no slowly,,
"Fuck yall been doing and why was I never aware of this."
"You have so much to catch up on!!" Bambam squealed and clinged onto jaebeoms arm.

————-
after school rolled around and the day ended with the same thing. At lunch bambam tried to look for jinyoung in hopes that he hasn't heard anything, nothing from the scandal at least. Bambam thought to himself, if jinyoung didn't know about it would he have told him? Bambam knows if he could he'd keep it away from him but it's just too big of a news to just die down and hopefully no one opens their big mouths to tell and talk. Bambam promised himself that today, he's going to talk to jinyoung. He's going to apologize and beg for him to stay.

Now we know how bambam promised yugyeom he wouldn't obsess over this anymore but yugyeom doesn't understand what 'meaningful relationship' means. What bambam had with his friends was meaningful but he came to realization that what he has with yugyeom is meaningless and toxic. Yugyeom ruined him and bambam came to conclusion that he should've avoided him when he was told to.

Bambam is afraid of yugyeom. He's going to meet jinyoung in secret after school without yugyeoms approval just in case yugyeom says no or something.
"I'm my own person..." bambam breathed to himself as he looked at himself from the public bathroom mirror.
Yugyeom invited him for milkshakes at this burger place just outside of town. It was 6:30 and as much as bambam hated to admit that he loves being around yugyeom, he had to go. He just felt anxious and every time yugyeom tried to kiss him he felt nauseated. Bambam splashed his face with water and returned back to their seat.
"You were there for awhile babe." Yugyeom commented as he slurped empty his chocolate milkshake. Bambam shrugged, "7 minutes isn't that long, plus there was a line and two toilets were clogged." Sort of that was a lie, only one of them were clogged and there was no line considering they're two of 5 people that are actually eating at this place.