American Boy ✔️

Chapter Twenty

"...but it doesn't feel like you do." kinagat ko ang labi ko at unti-unting naglakad sa hagdanan at papasok sa kwarto ko.

I was curious, I was curious about him, about my biological father, and if I ever meant something to him.

When I finally met him, I realized that it's not entirely his fault kung bakit lagi silang nagaaway ni mommy, it's both of their faults, pareho silang may problema sa isa't-isa.

And I hate it.

I can handle it, but now that he's been trying to talk to me, it's pissing me off.

Ayoko na nang ganito, ayokong madamay sa away nila.

So I'll stay here, I'll stay here where it's not noisy and where it's peaceful.

I locked my door and started crying while lying on top of my bed.

Tinakpan ko ang bibig ko to stop myself from screaming or yelling any word ever while inside my room.

Ayokong marinig ni mommy ang iyak at galit ko sa kanilang dalawa, I'm also upset at my mother, at both of them.

Is this what Genevieve felt whenever she gets into fights with her stepmother and her father?

Maybe, maybe not.

Our scenarios are different, way different. But there is one thing we have in common, both of our fathers seem to not have any concern or care towards us.

Pero nakaya ko naman na wala siya, so why bother now?

For now, ayoko munang harapin ang tatay ko, not when I'm emotionally vulnerable at this moment all because of him.

Maybe one day haharapin ko ulet siya, pero for now, ayoko munang isipin kung anong nangyari this evening.

It's not like hindi ko na siya gusto ko pang makita, of course I'll have to meet him again, he's my father and he wants to spend some time with me, to see me.

Just not now.

All I need to do right now is school, I still have to pass this year before I graduate and go to college.

Kailangan ko pang i-build ang resume ko para sa college application ko, I plan to enter NEO University, I'm going to study really hard so I could also get a scholarship, an academic one, if it's possible.

I turn off my phone before I sleep, just in case Genevieve tries to call me.

I don't want to reject the call, baka kung ano pang isipin niya.

I shouldn't have cried that night, e 'di sana hindi na 'ko mukhang drug addict dahil sa mga mata ko. I cried too much last night, my eyes are horrible at ang bloated ko pa.

Jusko, now I have to use makeup.

Pagkatapos kong maligo, tinali ko ang buhok ko in a braid at buhos agad nang concealer sa eyebags ko, naglagay din ako nang konting eyeliner at mascara para palakihin ang mga mata ko nang konti.

I didn't wear contacts today, instead, I wore my prescription glasses to hide how bad my eyes have become because of last night.

I sprayed a MAC mist to set the makeup in and I'm finally ready to go to school.

I'm sure na 'di magtatanong si Genevieve kung anong nangyari sa mata ko at nagsuot ako nang salamin, I could just lie, but I'm sure may mga magugulat na nagsuot ako nang salamin.