Give and Take (Trafalgar Law X OC)

The abyss in me (Part 1)

They are dead.

~...~

I was forced to get out of my bed and join the funeral that day. I clearly remember how exhausted I felt due to the lack of sleep even though I spent almost the whole day on my bed, refusing to eat or even drink something.

Sophie had to put a great effort to drag me painfully out of bed that morning as I couldn't miss my mother's and sister's funeral. Moreover I would be the future heir of the throne one day for better or for worse and so I had to win the public by being present and showing the needed respect to the other two members of the royal family.

Who am I fooling? Me? The Queen of Solkey Island? The ungifted child who grew to be the society's black sheep and the total disgrace of the royal family? If you asked the citizens, the answer of every each one of them would be the same. I should have been in my sister's position.

My body felt heavy and my head ached like it was about to burst but I didn't complain and wore the simple black dress that the elder woman had prepare for me.

I remember I couldn't understand how life continued to roll around me from the time I exited my room after so many days. For me it felt like the day they made the official royal announcement of the Queen's and the youngest princess's deaths, the time had frozen. I had spent the past week closed inside my quarters, isolated from the outside world and hoping I could magically reset the time to see even just for a minute Melody's beautiful smile and feel my mother's comforting and warm touch. However, my expectations proved false when I witnessed the busy staff preparing the palace by decorating it with white flowers for the upcoming guests that were about to visit after the event to give their condolences to the King and myself. Someone brought a black cloth upon my mother's portrait and fixed it a bit so as to hang straight on the wall, while others were closing the windows as a sign that the palace was mourning their fallen Queen and soon the whole place was wrapped in dark shadows with the only light coming from some lightened candles on the main corridors here and there.

My brain was blank and I found it difficult to understand what was going on around me until suddenly the funeral rite was over and I found myself standing right in front of the royal graves of the Queen and the youngest princess.

I remember distinctly the cloudy grey sky that reflected perfectly my mental state as if the nature itself mourned the loss of my life's sunlight with me. Though, the next day a more beautiful sun would arise from the depths of the sea across the horizon we so loved to admire with my mother every dawn and the life would go on.

But there is no sun in my own life anymore and my gloomy grey days will continue for tomorrow and the day after and probably the rest of my life.

I teared my gaze away from the two gravestones for a moment and observed the people around me. My father stood beside me from my right side but he didn't even spare an empathetic glance to me. I didn't have the chance during my short life to get to know him better as he was often away on travels and adventures around the world, fulfilling the great dream of his while leaving my mother behind to fight with the beasts. Talking of which, the beasts were all gathered here today to 'honor' with their presence my mother's remembrance. They who defamed her behind her back for giving birth to an 'ungifted' child, cried their eyes out with crocodile tears above her grave.

But I knew one thing for sure and that was the love of my father for my mother so I guessed his reaction was understandable as I was the guilty one for their deaths. So I didn't seek his warm embrace or words of propitiation and left him sank to his grief hoping one day he will forgive me.

I could distinguish everyone's thoughts just by looking the way they glared at my way.

'She did it.'

'She is the murderer.'

'I knew nothing good would come out of an ungifted child.'

They asked me to say a few words about them after the King's speech but even though there were numerous things I wanted to share and speak my truth in regard to their shameful actions and how much they had disserved her, the words died on my lips and I kept being silent.

In the end I was the one who killed them so it didn't really matter.

I stood there wishing to grow roots and stay with my mother and Melody forever. I reached even the point of thinking to dig the ground and burry myself with them. My knees felt weak and I fell on the dirt while starting to shove my hands into the earth and removed handfuls of fresh soil beginning to create a dip.

I could hear the annoying buzz in my ears of sudden exclamations and murmurs coming from ladies of the high society behind their lacy fans and the disapproving groans from the men around me.

The King thinking his daughter finally went mad, couldn't tolerate the disgrace I brought upon him and so he walked off with his knights following his steps. He logically went back to the palace so as to lock himself again inside his office and drink until he doesn't remember his name, I guessed.

Soon Sophie who stood behind me and tried for a good amount of time to stop my foolish and embarrassing actions, she gave up on my stubbornness and decided to leave me alone and grief the way I felt like I should.

Everyone else one by one left the 'theatrical stage' once they felt entertainment time was over and started getting bored.

I was left alone but nothing changed inside me probably because I was always alone.

All of a sudden, rain started pouring down on the dry ground like the sky was indeed crying with me. My tears, I so desperately tried to hold back in front of everyone, now started running on my cheeks and mixed with the welcoming rain. I raised my head to the sky to feel better the soothing water on my face until a shadow covered my figure and I stopped getting wet.

I opened my eyes to see a black umbrella above my head and a woman holding it behind my back.

She kneeled down to reach my position and I looked at her more thoroughly even though I knew who she was.

My mother's and sister's deaths didn't seem to have a huge effect on her as she didn't lose this disgusting mischievous smile she always had curved on her lips when something went right on her life. And probably this day was one of her greatest moments.

That woman was my aunt, a young lady on her late 20s with straight, black raven colored hair that reached her shoulders, green eyes like emerald stones and thin lips. That was Aldonza Lorenzo for you aka 'witch' as my sister and I used to call her.

"Valerie, sweetie. You shouldn't sit in the rain, you might catch a cold! Fufufu," she commented sarcastically and brought a hand on my shoulder, leaning a bit forward.

"Well I am sure you wished to be on their position now, right? To think that you are the reason behind their deaths! How unfortunate to forget to put out the kerosene lamp when you left to go for ice cream! I wonder how an ungifted child is going to manage the Queen's throne!" Aldonza whispered on my ear, her poisonous voice sending goosebumps on my skin.

"The King is not dead yet." I replied on a broken but confident voice.

"I wonder about my stepbrother, Fufufu!"

This moment I knew my fate was doomed and she had a greater plan on her mind.

But now I am thinking about it, my fate was doomed from my birth.

Because I was the only newborn in Solkey island who didn't sing the cry song of their birth.

Next Monday we will have Elga's memories before this incident! I wish you to have a beautiful week, until then stay safe!