The Magic of Love

Chapter twenty-four

"Well, tell me more about yourself," Oliver said.

"Mmm," I wrinkled my nose.

"What!?"

"Nothing, I'm just not one of those people who can immediately start sharing all sorts of things about themselves," I shrugged. "I'm talkative, I like to have conversations, but when I tell something about myself it's usually driven by a topic I'm discussing with someone or a question."

He nodded, "I see. And now when I think of it... it's the same with me."

I smiled.

"But see, now we both learned something new about each other," Oliver added.

"Yes, we did", I agreed with a smile. "Well, do you have a question?"

"Hmm, I have to think about some," he said, and smiled a little embarrassed, "Do you have anything to ask?"

I thought for a moment.

"It's not really a question," I started, and he nodded encouragingly. "I just... I liked that you told the truth earlier. Well, at least as far as the situation allowed it."

We laughed.

"It made a good impression on me. It may sound weird or not but I really liked it," I admitted.

He shrugged, "I don't like lies. I don't like to lie either. If I can avoid it, I do. I usually stick to the truth without details that could turn into a lie, as you saw."

I nodded with a smile, "Yes. I prefer half truth to pure lies. But sometimes, when I have to lie, and can't avoid it either, I choose to keep quiet."

"Has it happened to you lately?" He asked thoughtfully.

"Yes," the guilt in me weighed and my shoulders drooped.

"What's wrong?"

I bit my lip. I didn't know how to tell him. But I didn't think I could hide it anymore.

And yet... I was afraid. I was afraid he would think less of me, that he would be disappointed, that my mistakes would push him away.

But to hide was almost tantamount to lying. Which was better then?! Keep quiet or speak the truth? "The truth. Always choose the truth, sweetheart!" I almost heard my Mom's voice, and felt tears coming.

"She is right", I thought. She was always right. So... I pushed back my tears, and spoke the truth no matter the consequences.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then opened them. I fixed my gaze on Oliver's eyes, and spoke. Only half ready to tell him the truth, I did it.

"I'm to blame for the disappearance of the ring."

He tried to object, but I untwined my fingers with his and lifted one hand to stop him.

"Please let me finish," Oliver nodded in agreement.

I folded my hands in one another and continued, "It's my fault. I was distracted and angry and... it was like I didn't care about anything but my own pain. Betty and I agreed to stay in the kitchen and just bake. I was so used to our work that I could do it blindfolded. At that moment I felt so bad... There were two choices - either doing my job mechanically or going at home. And the first was way more appealing 'cause I didn't want to be alone. I stayed in the kitchen baking, with mind and body totally out of sync, which hadn't happened to me for quite some time," I swallowed the pain my hurtful memories brought me, and kept on with the story. "I could see nothing in front of me, totally consumed by my thoughts. The sounds were muffled, and I felt my ears clogged as if I was submerged under water. I couldn't perceive anything. I worked with my hands on muscle memory and I wasn't aware of the actions of my own body."

My voice trembled. Tears were trying to cease my resistance to let them out. Oliver immediately embraced my hands with his bigger warmer palms, then wrapped his fingers around mine, and squeezed them slightly. And after a while we were just holding to each other again, and he was massaging me gently with his thumbs.

I sighed deeply and continued.

"But Betty's phone rang and I had to replace her and deal with the customers. That's how I got behind the counter when you came. But..." I was ashamed to say it and closed my eyes, "I didn't see you at all."

"How so?" He asked softly and gently.

I opened my eyes, but didn't look at him.

"Ashley, don't worry. I'm not going to get mad or anything", Oliver reassured me.

I looked at him, and admitted, "Not that I didn't see you, but I didn't notice you. Or anyone else. I don't even know how many people came into the bakery and how many orders I fulfilled or what I sold. I just kept doing everything mechanically without thinking. I don't know when you came or when you asked for a special box. I vaguely remember someone saying 'special box', and that I went to the kitchen to get one. And that's it."

"Okay, why didn't you just take the one next to you. Didn't Betty say she put it on the table next to the counter?" He asked.

"This was my second mistake. No... it's actually the first one. Almost as soon as I replaced Betty, I noticed the box and got angry that it wasn't in place. It was ruining the order of the bakery and it was creating even more chaos in my already wrecked day. And you may think I'm crazy but... I got severely frustrated by the box and angrily grabbed it and took it to the others in the kitchen. The most stupid part was that as it wasn't box's fault for my gloomy mood, putting it away so to regain my "precious order", I rolled my eyes annoyed by myself, "did not make me feel satisfied", I sighed. "And the worst part was that Betty had exited the bakery from the back door, and she didn't see how I made that horrible mistake."

My voice broke at the last word.

Oliver squeezed my hands, "Hey, Ashley, please don't! Don't be upset!" I didn't dare look at him, I didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes despite his soft tone.

"Ashley, please look at me!" He insisted, and something in his voice made me look at him.

I timidly looked away from the table to his face and stopped at his eyes. There was no sign of the disappointment I expected to see in them. No, the emotion in Oliver's eyes was radically different. They were filled with... pain.

"Please, please don't worry about this anymore," Oliver said in a slightly hoarse voice, "It hurts to watch you suffer. And you don't even have to!"

"Why not?", I objected, "Because of my mistake, because of my unprofessional behavior, Isabella's ring is lost."

"We'll find it. I know it!"

"You can't know that," I said sadly.

He squeezed my hands again, "Okay. I may not know it, but I believe. I believe we will find it. And..."

Oliver paused and didn't seem he'd finish his thought.

"What? What would you say?" I asked timidly.

"Okay. This is going to sound terribly selfish on my part, that's why I stopped but..."

"Oliver, what's up?" I asked anxiously.

"If it hadn't happened, today you and I wouldn't be spending the day together, getting to know each other so quickly and connecting so fast... so soon," Oliver held my gaze, "I know you feel what I feel", he paused and I nodded. And then he lowered his eyes. An unpleasant worry crept over my skin. "But there's something I have to confess. Something you don't know, you can't know."