Crossing Paths

Idiot

"Lucian," I look over at him on the balcony.

We are out here waiting for the meteor shower to start, the cool breeze flows through my hair.

Lucian turns to me, he's wear some grey joggers and no shirt. I've come to realise he rarely ever wears a shirt at home.

"Gardenia?" he shifts his body to completely face me.

"What are we doing?" I look up at him. I want to know what he wants with me, because I'm not going to be his toy wear he can play with it and then throw it out.

"Waiting for the meteor shower?" he furrows his brows confused.

"No, I mean like us," I gesture my finger back 'n forth between us.

"I don't know," he shrugs, fiddling with his hands.

"What do you want?" he questions.

"I want us to be together?" I say like a question.

"You seem unsure, Tatum."

"I don't know, I've never felt this way for someone."

When I'm with Lucian it feels like there is something worth living for. He makes me forget all about my family and the mafia not being so bad. He doesn't make me do anything I don't want to, and he listens to me.

The passed few weeks of living here, I've gotten the most comfortable I've been with being myself. I haven't had to filter my thoughts and now I have Milo too.

"I don't want to get you hurt, if we make there an us that wouold make you a target for our enemies," he takes my hand and draws circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"I don't care about that," I stiffen my body.

"You would be in danger and I don't know what I would if I was the reason you got hurt," he tenses his body at the idea of me getting hurt.

"Lucian, forget about the enemies or the risks, just fucking live," I rarely ever cuss, but he needs to get it through his damn mind that the risk don't matter.

He scrunches his nose, "Tell me you don't want to be with me?" I ask him.

He takes a moment, "I do."

"Then be with me then, it's what you want."

I'm trying not to sound desperate, but I don't really care at this point. He's being an idiot.

"I can't," he runs his hands through his hair.

"You're an idiot," I open the bedroom door and walk in.

"Tatum!" I hear him yell from the balcony, "fuck."

He grabs my hand and turns me around, "Gardenia."

"Don't touch me, and don't call me that, Lucian."

He holds my hand tight and I yank it away, "I said don't touch me."

He releases my hand and he stares at me fiddling with his hands again.

"Don't come crying to me when you realise that you're being stupid, 'cause I'm done being your chew toy," I rant and turn around.

"You aren't my-" I cut him off by slamming the door shut and going to my room.

He's stupid.

I yank his shirt off me and put on a sports bra and shorts.

I tuck myself under the white comforter and force myself to sleep.

I'm not shedding a single tear for that idiot.