BEAUTIFUL CHANGE

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 10:

Stanley Eun's POV

I stand here now in the tomb of France. I don't know how I got here, all I know is I miss her so much.

" I bought you a flower and your favorite ice cream, matcha flavor. " I couldn't help but cry because I remember the time when I was not able to take her to their house and I chose to celebrate with my friends. It hurts me that I am the last one with her.

" If you were here, I wouldn't be suffering like this. I wouldn't be like this. I don't know if you're torturing me, but there's someone like you. You have the same preferences. You have a lot of similarities that I don't want to see sometimes because it seems to hurt me. " I whispered to her as I wiped his tombstone.

" But if this is your way, because I was not able to take you to your house, that caused the accident. I really deserve it. I will accept it." I bowed and forced my tears to never flow again because of what happened then.

I stood up and adjusted myself.

" I'll visit you again. Right now I'm going home because it's raining hard. I love you so much, France Ella. "

Tumakbo ako as fast as I can, dahil sobrang lakas ng ulan. Malayo ang parking lot dito dahil nasa dulo ang libingan ni France.

Sa sobrang lakas ng ulan, halos hindi ko makita ang dinadaanan ko. Pinunasan ko ang mga mata ko dahil sa pagluha at dahil narin sa ulan. Ang bigat pala sa loob ng ganito. Yung sisihin mo ang sarili mo dahil sa isang bagay na wala ka man lang nagawa.

Sobrang nanlalambot ako ngayon and finally nakita kona ang sasakyan ko. Aagad akong pumasok sa loob dahil giniginaw na ako.

I started the car and started driving away from the cemetery. It's evening, and it's time to rest. My body and head hurt a lot. I feel like I'm going to fall here at any moment, so I speed up the drive.

It's just close to the village where we live here in Pampanga, so I know I can go home right away. It's just annoying because I don't have anyone at home anymore. Mom wasn't there because she was in a business meeting.

Mga kasambahay lang ang kasama ko doon. It's friday night kaya labis ang nararamdaman kong pagod dahil simula monday-friday morning sobrang nakakapagod mag-isip. Marami pa akong school activities na dapat gawin. Makapag-bihis lang ako, gagawin ko lahat 'yon.

After 20 minutes of driving, nandito na ako sa bahay. Pinag-buksan ako ng gate ni Yaya at pinasok ko na ang sasakyan sa garahe. Sa wakas at makakapag-pahinga na rin ako.

" Stanley, kumain kana 'nak? " Tanong ni Yaya Mely saakin, pero humiling lang ako. Wala akong gana para kumain ngayon.

Pumasok ako sa bahay at itinabi ang susi sa organizer para hindi ko hinahanap just in case na gagamitin ko.

" Stanley, basang-basa ka. Saan kaba galing, itong bata talaga na 'to, Oo. " Inabot saakin ni Yaya ang towel at pinunasan niya ang likod ko.

" Maliligo nalang po ako, " I said.

" Osige 'nak, tapos kumain ka mamaya. Tawag ka nalang saakin kung nagugutom ko, hahatiran kita ng pagkain sa kwarto mo. Ayos ba 'yon? " Tumang nalang ao at humakyat na papunta sa room ko.

I can't help my self, sobrang sakit ng pakiramdam ko.

" Ughhh "

Umupo muna ako saglit at nagpahinga. Buti nalang Sunday palang bukas. Makakapag-pahinga ako ng buong gabi. Kahit nahihirapan ako, pinilit ko padin lumapit sa study table ko to do my tasks.

Binuksan ko ang device ko at hinanap ko ang soft copy ng activities namin. Sinubukan kong gawin pero hindi ko talaga magawang mag-type. Yes, sa mismong device na kami sumasagot. Hindi na namin kailangan ng ballpen and notebook, mobile phone or tablet will do.

" Shit, I cant! " Sigaw ko dito sa room ko. Hindi ko magawang makapag-focus dahil sa aobrang sakit ng ulo ko.

I will call Ella to help me here, babayaran ko nalang siya.

" Wait, why Ella? Bakit siya ang pumasok sa isip ko to do my tasks? "

Kinuha ko ang isang cellphone ko na nasa bag at buti nalang hindi nabasa kanina sa ulan.

Tumawag ako sa DL university officer at kinuha ang cellphone number ni Panget. Confidential daw yung information niya, I know pero kailangan ko. However, kahit pag-aari namin ang DLU nagiging fair padin ako. Ngayon lang ang hindi dahil hiningi ko nag cellphone number ni Panget.

I typed and made sure she could understand my text. I don't do it but I did it with her.

" I need you. Puntahan mo ako sa bahay please. " [ Message sent! ]