Ms. Calloway (Book 2 in the For Better Or Worse Trilogy)

Chapter 12

     Neither of us say anything. The quiet isn't something that either of us run away from. Rather, something we embrace. Time is nonexistent. We stand there for what feels like forever and like no time at all. Nevertheless, minutes pass, holding each other as if we're keeping ourselves grounded.

     As if realizing that we can't stay here forever, safe in the tight space we created, we release each other. We look at each other like we're looking for the first time. I guess it kinda is. I no longer see him as the intimidating, publisher bachelor. In this new view, he's a dangerous man with a dark past that was forced upon him. Even deeper, I see a little boy that was broken by his father. And by the look in his eyes, he sees me differently. I don't know how he sees me now, or how he saw me before, but he actually looks at me with something that can only be described as surprise. Like he didn't know this side of me existed. That makes both of us.

     Surprisingly enough, after everything that has unfolded over the last few months, I'm handling this much better than I thought was capable. Than he thought I was capable of.

     There's so many questions I have, all of which can be answered at another time, but one. "Why didn't you ever tell anyone?" Not knowing what to do with my hands, I cross my arms. "Why'd you just let everyone think you did this horrible thing? Why'd you let them create this narrative that you were this heartless monster? At the very least, why didn't you tell your family the truth? Don't you think they should know that you didn't kill your son?"

     It seems that he doesn't know what to do with his hands either because a second later he's tucking his hands away in his pockets. "At the time it was easier to allow them to believe I'd be capable of that, rather than the truth. Somehow, it felt worse that they'd know that my whole marriage was a fucking failure. I was a failure. Instead of protecting my family, it was destroyed under my watch. They wouldn't see Amelia for who she was. Either way, no matter what I said, it would be my fault. At least this whole situation was shaped by my narrative. Instead of being seen as a man who couldn't keep his ducks in a row, lost everything, the rug torn from beneath him, I was a man who was capable of dangerous things. Heartless. Someone to fear. That became useful when it came to the family business. You know what would happen if they all found out that my own wife did this to me? They would destroy all of us. See the Berkshire name as a joke, weak. I did it to keep my family's reputation and mine."

     Even after his explanation, I'm still lost. In his world, is image and 'weakness' more important than honesty and morals?

     "Sawyer, I need you to understand one thing. The choice of staying or going is yours. Though, you shouldn't make that decision until you have all the facts." Unlike his tone before, he sounds more serious and business like again. If he didn't just grab my hand and hold it in his, I'd think we took ten steps back. "You've caught the attention of the wrong people. Because of me, your life is in danger. All I can do about that is apologize and hope you hear the sincerity in my voice. These people believe that you are an integral part of my life." His gaze leaves mine, only for a moment, looking at our hands. This small gesture is the only part keeping us together. Strangely enough, it brings me comfort knowing that I'm not alone. Even if he is the reason I'm in this mess. "Because of that, they will attempt to use you against me. Whether it be to turn you against me or threaten to harm you to make me their puppet or worse. The possibilities are endless." He brushes the back of my hand with his thumb, distracting me from the real danger that is boiling beneath the surface of this conversation. "The truth is, Sawyer, your family will be in danger the moment you step on Georgia soil. These people will follow you. They'll track every step you take. They'll know your entire childhood, family, and closest friends, before the day is over. Those relationships will be used against you, to draw you in until they have you in the palm of their hands, then use you against me. And trust me, they will do anything to get a grip on you. Including hurting those closest to you." To my disappointment, he drops my hand and takes a step back. He's giving me space, without using his touch to tempt me, to make the decision that's best for me. He's right to, because the second he removes his skin from mine, a wave of fear swoops me off my feet. My whole world has been flipped since meeting Roman Berkshire. Nothing is as it was. Because I decided to turn a blind eye to all the strange things occurring, I am stuck in a world I know nothing about. I'm in danger. Everyone close to me is in danger.

     I blame myself for putting myself and those closest to me in harm's way. If I never went against my papa's wishes, followed this little plan he set out for me, things would have been different. Because of my selfishness, I can now get everyone killed.

     The choice is not really a choice at all. Either run away and have people study my life, planning to use it against me or, stay here and have Roman's protection. And just like that, my choice is made for me. "I'll stay."  

What did you think of this chapter?

I'm currently working on the second draft of Mr. Berkshire, but I want to change the title to something more Greek. This will not affect the currently story. 

What title should it be? Mr. Mavros or Mr. Adino?

If you have any ideas for a title, please let me know!