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Therefore I Am - Billie Eilish 

August 9, 2021



I spin around on my heels.

"What?"

"You're welcome, by the way." Harry's eyes burn into my skin.

"For what?" I bite.

"Everything." he shrugs. "Cleaning your flat. Buying your drinks."

"First, you are the one who trashed the flat," I point a stern finger at his chest. The same chest that is dressed in a white button down and a navy blazer draped over. "And second, you cut me off while trying to order."

He isn't looking at me anymore. His gaze lingers over the packed place.

"Where is everyone?" he asks.

Just then, our drinks are ready and sitting on the counter. I grab mine, practically hurling myself back into the crowd to get away from Harry as fast as I can.

He has to bring out the worst in people. In me, at least. Just knowing that he is here is making my blood boil. His snarky comments and stupid look he always has on. And don't even get me started on how he always has to have the last word. Always.

I've known him for what? A week?

My hands grip the glasses a bit too tight, my injured hand cramping and sending a shiver of pain through me.

"Eeeek!" Viv squeals when I get to them. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

She is bouncing to the music, still dancing as she pulls me into a sloppy hug.

"No need to thank me." I say. She pulls back with her brows pinched together. "Your lead singer got it."

A huge smile breaks out on her face. "Ah! Isn't he just the best?" She praises, genuineness laced in her words.

My eyes roll automatically.

She hits my arm, a scolding look upon her face.

She rolls her eyes right back to me. "Since you're back, want to go to the loo with me?"

A growl grumbles deep in my chest at the thought of squeezing through the crowd again.

"Pleaseeeeee."

"Fine."

I follow behind her. She passes by people, winking at some guys and touching other's arms. I watch as men's knees nearly give out just at the look of Vivianne, and I can't blame them.

I don't think I've ever seen Vivi not look perfect. Her face, her body, her personality all work together to form the best friend.

My front almost slams into her back when she abruptly stops in the middle. I hear her call his name and my chest sags.

"Harry!" she waves.

He side steps around people and makes it in front of us.

"Thank you for the drink." She tells him.

He gives a curt nod. "Anything for you, Viv." he says with a smile.

That's the first time I think I've seen him smile. His eyes cut to mine for a split second, and I can read disgust behind them.

"Well, we're going to run to the loo, but we'll find you in a little."

We finally make it to the bathroom after what feels like a hike and a half to get here. The fluorescent lights burn my eyes, and after the door shuts, the ringing in my ears becomes apparent.

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