Real or Not Real

I Can't Wait

"Smile!" Effie said and gave me a big grin like she was showing what to do. I groaned and copied her.

The cameraman clicked away, the flash going off a million times in a second, it felt like. Peeta stood behind me, his arms around me with his hands pressed against my growing bump.

It felt like as soon as that test flashed the plus sign that we were indeed pregnant, my bump grew over night.

None of my clothes fit me anymore, I've also grown 2 shoe sizes. It was hard to hunt because I was so unsteady on my feet now from the extra weight all the front. Peeta was quieter in the woods now than I was, which said it all really. Every bit of game could hear me coming from a mile off.

I hated it.

But, I loved it at the same time.

Feeling the baby move inside me was an experience I find hard to explain. The first time, we had both been cuddling up on the sofa. Peeta was reading aloud when I felt loads of little popping in my lower stomach. It was like bubbles popping against my skin. Looking down, we both saw them moving.

"They have hiccups." Peeta's voice was full of awe, his hand gently touching my moving stomach. I found myself watching him watch them, the wonder in his eyes.

It made me feel all warm.

Those were the first little flutters, now I feel like I'm constantly falling. My stomach doing twists and flips similar to when you fall from a great height, like out of a tree. Sometimes it's so strong I literally forget how to breathe.

They no longer look like hiccups, you see the odd arm sticking out, tight against my skin, or the odd foot trying to break free. I didn't have long left, only a few weeks. And I will miss feeling them inside me. In my stomach I can keep them nice and safe. Even though I knew they had nothing to fear in the outside world anymore, I still wanted to be safe with me for a little longer.

But at the same time, I also can't wait to be able to walk more than a few steps without getting out of breath.

My mother was coming home in the next few days to be here to help me with the labour. I acted like I could manage alone, but I was secretly so glad she was coming home. The thought of labour terrified me.

What would it feel like?

I've heard plenty of women giving birth over the years, my mother would have them in our home to help assist them. I refused to help or watch, the screams were enough to make me feel sick never mind actually seeing it.

But now, it was me that actually had to go through it. I silently cursed my younger self, if I had been brave and stayed to help I'd perhaps have a clue what to expect.

Was knowing or not knowing worse?

"Katniss, please give me something to work with." Effie sighed, her hands on her hips giving me a look of disappointment.

"Sorry," I apologized and rested my head back on Peeta's shoulder.

He gently brushed my braid away from my face, laying a light kiss on my cheek. "Do you want to take a break?"

I nodded. My feet hurt, my back hurt,. It also felt like the baby was playing the drums on my bladder, making me need a constant wee.

I was so uncomfortable.

I walked away, the white flowy dress blowing around me threatening to trip me up. I gathered the material up and sat on the bench near the tree line.

I watched the woods before me, its beauty no longer obscured by the metal fence. Not long ago they took all the fencing down.