Real or Not Real

Surprise Visit

Summer rolled around before I realised it. I found myself feeling a way I have never felt before, happy. I never thought I'd feel this way, especially since I'd lost so many important people in my life, but I do. But with happiness comes guilt. It lingers over my head like a dark cloud, always casting a shadow over everything I do.

Haymitch has dinner with us every other night. His drinking had calmed down, he wasn't his usual vulgar self, In fact he's been useful. Last few months He's been helping Peeta once or twice a week at the bakery, not cooking or anything but serving the customers that come in. It's nice to see him doing something with himself, not just getting lost in his own nightmares.

But the nightmares are still there, for all of us. They'll never fully go away of course, but we all find our own ways of handling them. For Peeta and I, it's each other.

I head towards the bakery as I walk through town, smiling and saying hello to the people I recognize. It was an extremely hot day, the sun burning my shoulders as I walked. I glanced up at the pale blue sky hoping a cloud would appear for some relief, but there was none for as far as I could see.

I needed to buy a couple of bottles of water and some food to take hunting with me otherwise I would probably pass out from dehydration. The hot sticky air reminded me of the Quarter Quell, and I found myself shivering at the memory despite the unrelenting heat.

Greasy Sae had asked for some wild turkeys if I was able to find them, 'perfect for a stew' she told me and licked her lips with anticipation. So, I planned on getting lost in the woods today, like I did most days.

Pushing the heavy bakery door open, the bell on top gave a light ding to let everyone inside know someone had come in. It was small but cozy. He had a couple of tables and chairs inside so people could sit and eat if they wanted too. I found these chairs usually only had Myself, Peeta and Haymitch in them. Sometimes we would lose track of time and all just sit here talking the evening away, eating some bread or cookies that were left from the day.

Peeta was kneading some dough on the counter top in the far right corner of the room, a heavy frown on his face, deep in concentration. He had flour speckled over his face and hair, making him look so innocent. Haymitch was at the cash register, answering some questions an older lady had about the designs on Peeta's cupcakes.

Peeta glanced up at me, and his frown faded away replaced with a warm smile. 'Hi' he mouthed to me, not daring to interrupt Haymitch's monologue about the significance of the flaming arrow that was iced onto the cupcake, what it represented to the uprising that changed our world. I nodded to the back room and Peeta followed my gaze, wiped down his dough and flour covered hands and followed me out back.

The back room wasn't really a room, more of a supply closet. Ingredients lined the shelves on the walls and some bread that wouldn't fit in the main room. It was hotter here than it was outside, sticky. It also smelled amazing, like warm bread which made my mouth water. There was barely enough room for one person to stand in it with their arms out, so we were snug together. His breath tickled my neck. "Are you going hunting?" He asked and smoothed the flyaway hairs down in my braid that sat over my shoulder.

"Yes, any requests for dinner tonight?" I asked, and ran my finger up his arm enjoying the way the hairs rose as my finger passed over his skin.

He shrugged, "Whatever you can catch."

I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and was about to leave when he pulled me back to him, planting a hard kiss on my lips. I was taken by surprise, but slowly leaned into the kiss, enjoying the warm wave that spread from our lips down my body. Slowly it felt like butterflies were stirring in my stomach. The warmth of happiness spread over me, followed by the wave of guilt. I tried to ignore it, to push the guilt away, but it only grew bigger.