seventeen

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Soobin threw up. All he could hear was a steady ringing in his ears. He wasn't sure how he had gotten to lunch but somehow he had and now he was seated at the head of his cabin's table. Unsure if he wanted to run the fuck away or punch somebody in the fucking face.

Yejis words still echoed in his mind. Yeonjun never really cared about him, he had been using Soobin the whole time. Everything had been a lie and he had been foolish to think that someone would ever truly care for him and him only. He couldn't eat, he couldn't speak. All he could do was think.

"Hey Soobin, during free time do you-" Yeonjuns voice cut through the ringing in his ears like a strike of lightning. Soobin stood pushing past the other boy and running to the bathroom. He threw up again.

He spent the rest of the day avoiding everyone. Especially Yeonjun and Yeji. Yeonjun was clearly confused, he probably thought that Soobin would have never found out what had happened. But Soobin had, and now he didn't know what to do.

"Taehyun, have you seen Soobin?" Yeonjun caught up to his friend who was on his way back to his cabin that night.

"No, why?"

"He's ignoring me. I think he's mad but I have no idea why," Taehyun turned to look at Yeonjun.

"Your an easy person to be mad at,"

"Wow, you are hilarious," Yeonjun said, rolling his eyes.

"But seriously, do you think I'm being too much? Maybe I'm overwhelming him?"

"Well if somethings wrong you should ask him what it is, cause he'll never tell you on his own." Yeonjun nodded, he knew whatever it was Soobin would stuff it down and it would only make him more and more anxious. He needed to know what was wrong.

Soobin successfully avoided Yeonjun all day. He contemplated the situation that night as he brushed his teeth. Examining himself in the mirror all he felt was hatred for himself. He felt so stupid and horrible. Suddenly a face appeared in the mirror behind him and he felt two arms caging him in. He spun around startled, accidentally hitting Yeonjun in the eye with his toothbrush.

"Shit Soobin," Yeonjun winced, holding his eye.

"Oh my gosh I am so so sorry, I can-" then he remembered everything Yeji had said and he felt a wave of coldness wash over his body.

"You can do what?"

"Nothing it doesn't matter," Soobin tried to brush past him but Yeonjun grabbed his arm.

"Soobin you need to tell me what's wrong eventually, I totally understand if I grossed you out last night or if you feel overwhelmed but I need you to tell me what I did so I can try to fix it," Soobins head was spinning and he shook it vigorously.

"You look like you're about to pass out, you need to sit down," Soobin felt himself being lifted up and placed on the bathroom's long counter. He looked down at Yeonjun who had one hand on each of Soobins legs. The caring look in his eyes made Soobins bottom lip quiver. He was such a fucking crybaby.

"You need to tell me what's wrong Soobin,"

"I'm mad at you," he whimpered, barely loud enough to hear.

"Why? What did I do?" Soobin could feel the tears now.

"You.. you just.." He felt Yeonjuns arm wrap around him.

"Don't" Soobin whispered. Yeonjun dropped his arm, Soobin could tell he was hurt.

"Please tell me what's wrong, I won't be able to live with myself if i hurt you," Soobin slid off the counter and walked towards the door to his cabin.

"Then die Yeonjun," he spit back, walking through the door.

AN: this hurt to write

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