twelve

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 The canoe trip went smoothly for the most part (if you ignored when Sunghoon tried to throw Jake out of their canoe and leave me in the water). And Soobin was completely exhausted when they got back, so he was very happy for some peace and quiet in the craft shop. But he didn't get that, because Beomgyu was there.

"You know i always liked the idea of a secret camp hook-up, that would be so hot," Soobin was only half listening, focusing on the letter he was writing. He knew that Doyoungs letter didn't exactly deserve a response, but Soobin felt a little bad for leaving for most of the summer.

"Are you even listening to me?" Beomgyu questioned.

"Yeah, hot camp hook-ups," Soobin stated apsentmidendly. Beomgyu continued to ramble on as Soobin read over what he said written so far.

Doyoung,

Camp has been okay so far, I would prefer it if it was a little quieter though. I have been able to do a lot of things I've never tried before. Canoeing, some weird color war thing, and lots of walking around in the woods. I've been able to make friends too, which is more than I expected. But I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to survive three weeks... I might just curl up into a ball and die. I miss you a lot, and I hope that when I get back we'll be able to do some things together before summer officially ends. Maybe we could go down to the beach for a day, or pull an all-nighter watching superhero movies?

Anyways hope you're doing alright. How has work been? Is your boss still being an ass? I don't know when this letter will get to you but I love you.

Soobin <3

He felt like it should be longer, but he couldn't find anything to tell. It wasn't like Doyoung would want to hear about too many details. And heaven forbid if he told him about Yeonjun. He didn't want to piss him off. He thought as he helped Yeji clean up the beads and glue left over from the campers.

"Are you ready to head to dinner?" Yeji asked, Soobin nodded.

"Yeah, I'm just going to run and put this into the cabin real quick," he gestured towards the letter.

"Okay, see you there," she waved at him cheerfully. Soobin forced a quick smile before turning towards the path that led to the cabins. He had always thought his relationship would be like something out of the movies. With lots of late night talks, and coffee dates, and holding hands. Sure he and Doyoung did those things. But they always seem to be riddled with toxic expectations and insecurity. Doyoung wasn't a great listener and Soobin wasn't great with his words. So everything seems a bit one sided.

He opened the door to his cabin, his head filled with thoughts, but he stopped short when he saw Yeonjun standing by his bed. Doyoungs letter in his hands. Soobin must have forgotten to put it away.

"What the hell?!" Yeonjun jumped, not having realized anyone was there.

"What are you doing?" Soobin demanded, crossing the room and tearing the paper out of the olders hands.

"I'm sorry I was getting something and...it was just laying there..." the older looked up, his eyes meeting Soobins.

"Is that guy your boyfriend," Yeonjuns tone was serious. He sound angry.

"None of your business," Soobin looked down at the papers in his hand, the one he had just written was crips and new. Untarnished. But Doyoungs letter was crumpled from when Soobin had grabbed it. It looked dejected, awful. Soobins stomach hurt. He was supposed to have a kind, loving boyfriend. And this crumpled paper was all he had to show for it.

Soobins chin quavered. He could feel the tears starting to form deep inside of him like a coming flood blocked up behind the dam that was his pride.

"Soobin," The anger in Yeonjuns voice was replaced by concern now:

"It doesn't matter... I need to use the bathroom," Soobin pushed past the other, stumbling to the bathroom door through his tears. He burst through the door, trying to get away so he could have a mental breakdown in private.

He sank to the floor, sliding his way through the world that was now blurry with tears to sit underneath the row of sinks.

The floor was dirty. But he couldn't bother to care.

"H-hey... what's wrong?" The voice was small. Unsure. Soobin knew it was Yeonjun, and he realized there was a part of him that had wanted Yeonjun to follow him. Wanted him to comfort Soobin. It was crazy how the heart could be when it was hurting.

"It doesn't matter," Soobin choked out. But the lie only made him cry harder. He felt a shoulder press up next to him, the heat of Yeonjuns body startling him somehow.

"So that dick is your boyfriend huh?" Soobin still wasn't used to the way Yeonjuns voice got when it was just the two of them. Quiet, personal. It was so different from how he was around everyone else.

"Don't say that," Soobin muttered through his tears.

"Is it a lie?" Silence. Soobin couldn't respond. His body shook with sobs pressing his hand up to his mouth. Trying to hide his face. He felt a hand gently grip his wrist. Pulling it away, and turning Soobins face to look into his own.

"If you can look into my eyes, be completely honest, and tell me that you love him?" Soobin sniffed. Trying to control his tears.

"You can't, can you?" Soobin looked away, focusing on the steady pound of his heart.

"Then why are you dealing with this bullshit!" Soobin jumped, at the sudden volume of Yeonjuns voice. It was too much, and his tears came again in a fresh stream.

"Oh fuck i'm sorry, I- I shouldn't have talked to you like that," Yeonjun whipped his hands on his jeans, before anxiously running them through his hair.

"No one should treat you like that... that's all i was trying to say. I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"Why do you even care?" Soobin demanded harshly.

"I-" Soobin glared over at Yeonjun expectintly.

"I don't know," Yeonjun averted his eye contact.

"I just... People shouldn't be treated like that. No one should be used or treated like there an object,"

"I guess," Soobin dropped his gaze. Deep down in his heart he knew. He knew he was nothing more than a toy. And that once Doyoung got bored, he would be discarded and replaced. Maybe that's why he was so emotional. He just couldn't act dumb anymore.

"Why doesn't he just love me the way I love him?" Soobins voice was barely audible. But he knew that Yeonjun heard because he felt two strong arms wrap around me, and Yeonjuns hand placed his head carefully down on his shoulder. It didn't take Soobin long to realize the close proximity, his check heated up a bit. And he squeezed his eyes shut trying to ignore the strange feelings.

"Becuase he's an ass hole. He doesn't deserve you, and if he can't see how amazing you are... than fuck him," Yeonjun paused.

"Wait... don't literally fuck him I meant-" Soobin sat up, putting one hand on either side of Yeonjuns face. Maybe it was the words, maybe the tears. Or maybe Soobin just needed to feel something real.

"Thank you Yeonjun," Soobin forgot all about Doyoung as soon as the olders smile spread across his face. It was bashful, and a bit dorky. God, Soobin wanted to make him smile like that forever.

"Did anyone ever tell you how pretty you are?" Soobins heart turned a fucking backflip.

"No,"

"You are," Soobin opened his mouth but they were interrupted when they heard the sound of a toilet flush and a bathroom door opened. Taehyung walked over to the sink to wash his hands.

"Taehyung?!" Yeonjun bluttered, just as surprised as Soobin.

"You two remind me of Jungkook and I when we were junior counselors," He said matter of factly.

"You missed dinner, the campers will be back any moment," He exited the bathroom. Soobin and Yeonjun looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

AN: Sorry it's been a little bit sense I updated. Hope ya'll are enjoying XD also do you think I should make a spotify account where I create playlists that go with the stories? Just an idea. also is top Soobin or bottom Soobin more popular, I am genuinely curious lol

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