I'm The Nanny

17

(Kellin's POV)

I had been sitting down for a while with Sugar in my lap and I just held her there...slowly I watched as her little eyes became droopy and could no longer stay open. As soon as she fell asleep I just silently hel her. I wanted to sing...but I knew that currently Audric and Vic were in the next room talking. They were in my visible distance but I chose to ignore them. How was I supposed to look at Audric in the eye or even stand next to him after I was with Vic. I'm such a fucking whore...I'm sure I was better off in my ol business.

But now that I think about it Austin could be out there in search of me. He managed to find my fucking numer for some reason. I really don't know how that's even possible. But it's something I should be scared of...I just really don't knew what to do now and if things fuck up it's only downhill!

I silently watched little Sugar in my arms and held back tears...of sadness and in a way happiness. I'm not sure how Vic ever came to needing a nanny and no offense I don't care...but because he needed a nanny now I get to hold such a sweet child in my embrace. But I want to cry of sadness if the day ever comes where I have to leave little Pepper!

I heard the silent whispers of Vic and Audric in the background. It brought joy to me to see some of the people that helped me in the same room. I should be entirely grateful but at the same time I feel shame and guilt. I'm horrible and it's not to attract attention or receive that shitty unrealistic support. It's the actual truth when I say that I'm a whore...I'm a stupid fool and I guess that at some point soon I'll confess to someone. Let's just hope I'm not to late.

••••••

(Audric's POV)

While Vic whispered to me what type I techniques I should use on the genre portrait...I thought about the styles I could use. I wanted to find a form to perceive inner feelings even if I was just drawing an object. It's deep thought that not many people dig. But it's a way that I think people can open their mind to.

I look at Kellin, actually peaking behind the canvas. He just say silently on the couch chair holding Vic's baby...who in time I came to find so adorable. On a day that Kellin said he was going to have free time, he had an idea about buying baby clothes that were slightly bigger so Sugar could grow into them. It would be adorable to see her in something like giraffes!

But now...I really need to focus. Right in front of me not only do I have a fucking canvas...I have a good looking guy which, I'll humbly say, I fucked.

I had never have had such a wonderful experience like, such, with any other guy but Kellin. It just so good to be with him, but it was something I was perceiving from him that I felt was wrong. Sure if I got serious with him we might make it in the long run. But I know within me it would just be fucking wrong.

I feel terrible for saying yes that night. For letting him spend it with me in my room doing, cough...cough...glorious things.

Sure it was great and no one can compare. But it just wouldn't work out. I feel that Kellin boosted me up and I'm grateful for that, but deep down I feel he isn't the one for me and I don't know how to break it to him.

I love having him around, not as a pet. But to see the way he can be sweet and even adorably clingy. The way his smile can just make your day. He's totally cut out for the job as a nanny.

Then again...another reason why I know something could be off about Kellin is his secrets. Who knows what's going on in his mind. He broke down one day suddenly and I still remember it like it was just yesterday.

He knows deep down it could affect him, his job, and it may sound selfish but it could even affect me.

I know at some point I'll have a talk with Kellin. I hope I don't hurt him...I'm sure he may even feel conscious about what happened between us. I liked it a lot, but since I was a child aside from being conscious of things...I have a weird intuition over things. I just hope that this intuition of mine doesn't hurt Kellin's feelings.