Sick | BTS ✓

23

I wake up feeling refreshed and genuinely happy.

After the birthday cake, Jin and I lounged around in the garden for a while, laying in the grass and watching the gray clouds glide through the sky. We laughed and joked and he even picked a flower for me and placed it in my hair.

After our one-on-one therapies, where I got the news that I would be able to leave in the next few days once my discharge paperwork gets approved, Jin somehow convinced a nurse to let us outside after dark and we danced under the stars with the cool breeze blowing around us. It's autumn now, my favorite season, so he made sure we spent as much time outside in the perfect weather as he could possibly manage.

I laugh to myself, moving my hands to cover my face. I'm so happy. So, so happy.

I'm sure Jin will get out soon as well. His therapist also mentioned discharge paperwork and I almost squeal in delight when I realize how real this is.

I'm better. He's better. We've both faced the demons we never intended on facing and now instead of pretending to be okay, we really are okay.

No secrets anymore. No lies. No hurt. No pain.

Just... happiness. Acceptance. Self-love and love for each other.

I hear the knock on my door signaling breakfast time, and I nearly jump out of bed in a rush to get ready so I can see Jin and conquer another day with him by my side. One day closer to being out of here. One day closer to being able to start my life with him.

I hum to myself as I make my way down the hallway. Usually, Jin meets me at my room and walks with me to the cafeteria, but he wasn't outside my door today. I figured he took a shower this morning, or maybe he is having an early morning meeting with his therapist about his release.

I wonder to myself as I walk into the cafeteria when our last days will be. I figure I'll get out first with him leaving a few days after me. Or it could be the other way around, maybe. What are the odds of us leaving at the same time again?

I glance up to scan the room for my boyfriend, but he isn't here yet. My heart flutters, now feeling more sure that he's with his therapist discussing his discharge. What if we both get to leave today? How perfect would that be?

After getting my food, I sit down and eat quickly, wondering if we'll move in together soon after leaving. Is that too soon? Probably. Yeah, we'll probably give it another few months. I've never even been to his place before.

I laugh to myself, realizing I'm already thinking about us moving in together.

I can't help it. I love the guy and I'm already used to being around him nearly constantly except when we sleep and when we have our one-on-one sessions.

I guess we'll see what happens. I mean, we have the rest of our lives to figure everything out.

I'm still smiling to myself when I come out of my thoughts and realize that it's nearly time to go to group therapy, but Jin is still nowhere to be found.

I frown, feeling worried that he's gonna miss out on breakfast because of his meeting.

After putting my tray up, I make my way to the group therapy room and take my usual seat. I'm early for once since I didn't have Jin distracting me with jokes and gentle hugs.

Slowly, the other patients enter the room and they take their usual seats as well until there are only two empty seats left.

The therapist's and Jin's.

Surely he won't miss group therapy too. How long can it take for Jin to sign some papers and confirm his release date?

The therapist comes in with a solemn look on her face and takes her seat, clearing her throat before plastering a professional smile on her face and peering around at everyone in the room.

"Good morning, everyone," she says and I clear my throat.

"Dr. Lee, shouldn't we wait for Jin?" I ask, frowning slightly.

"He won't be joining us today, Miss Clara," she says, avoiding my questioning gaze as she continues.

I slump in my chair. Something feels... off.

Where is he?

I feel a slow pain creep into my chest. Something's wrong.

"Where is he?" I ask quietly.

"Clara, please try to focus, okay? You're being released soon so you need to take all of this in."

I shake my head. "Don't do that. Don't use your mind tricks on me. Where is Jin?"

"It's not my place to tell you about another patient, Clara. You know that," she says, giving me a small smile before turning her attention away from me.

At this point, my heart is pounding in my chest. Something happened to him.

I sit silently for the rest of the session, lost in my heartache as I try to keep myself calm.

He's okay. He's okay. He's okay.

Right?

Once the session ends, I'm left alone in the room with Dr. Lee.

I take a steadying breath and stand up before walking wordlessly towards the door.

Whatever happened, I can't let myself relapse because of it. I have to be strong and remain calm. Not only for Jin, but for myself as well.

"Clara," Dr. Lee says quietly as she makes her way past me and to the door.

I glance up at her as she opens the door and starts to head out of the room.

"He's in the infirmary. That's all I can say," she says quietly before leaving the room and letting the door close behind her.

So without another thought, I make my way straight to the infirmary to see the love of my life, though I have no idea what I'm going to see when I get there.