*This story is a spin-off, It can be read as a stand alone but reading Love To Hate You first will add more details and complete the small missing pieces*
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"Just a little more and I'm gone for a while"
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𝐑𝐲𝐚𝐧 - Four years ago I was falsely accu...
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𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄
I've always believed in karma – the world is a cruel place – if they can't make you pay - the world will find a way to make you pray.
The day my mother walked out of the door and got in the black car with the tinted windows that annoyed me - I promised myself that I would never leave anyone behind - that I would never make a loved one feel like they didn't mean shit to me.
Now, I wouldn't say that I'm like my mother - she had no right to leave two children behind that didn't choose to be born - no fucking parent in this world has the right to bring a child to this world only to bury them the second they stand on their feet.
That's like watching a bird fly for the first time only to break their wings.
Maybe for Ryan I was worse than my mother because I broke his wings for him.
Either you make your own fate or you give in to the fate made for you.
I took his chance to say goodbye to his mom, we wouldn't have been able to change the fate made for her but saying goodbye changes things. It doesn't take that big of a piece from you compared to if he had gotten the chance to talk to his mom for the last time.
His mother made us always build our own gingerbread houses every year a few days before christmas, it was a tradition among us and we would decorate them and see who made the best one. Ryan always let me win even if his houses were the best looking ones.
We were like a family and back then even if we were so young, I was certain that Ryan was going to be in my life forever and would be the one I would marry.
Colleen was everything to Ryan, not just a mother but an anchor too. She was everything that made him hold on but he got Elsie now. She's here. He doesn't want me anymore.
The bitter taste of vodka broke me out of my thoughts and a waving hand made me blink quickly to try to clear my sight. The bar I was in was not as filled with people as it was when I entered but the guy who took shots with me -Evan- still kept waving his hand in front of my face and I found myself pushing it away.
He chuckled, "You literally froze midway our talk"
I got up from the bar stool, "Where are you going?" I heard him ask and I looked back at him.
"I'm going back to the past"
He made a face, "Let me call you a cab, you're drunk"
I get closer to the door, "It's okay, I'll walk"
"But it's raining!" was the last thing I heard before I was met by the cold drops and I looked back up at the dark sky.
Wow, I've been here for a while.
Walking through the familiar streets was somewhat better than therapy for me, I was always great at going back in memories and kind of reliving them in my mind. It was not something good because it made me get even more attached to the better times – that I would never be able to relive again.
