I'm Sorry. Bakugou Angst

Chatper 8

Sorry for the long wait for the new chapter! Enjoy!

Bakugou's POV:

I grumble as a rays of sunlight flash onto my face. I toss around just to be met with more sunlight. Cursing I get out of bed and quickly shut off the blinds. I rub my eyes and walk towards my washroom. I look into my dirty mirror to be met with a disgusting looking me. Huffing I run my fingers through my hair before discarding my clothes and hopping into the shower.

I flinch as I'm reminded of the cuts on my wrist by the slight burn. The nurse had healed them but some were still open. I finish washing my hair and body, careful to avoid the cuts with soap.

I step out of the shower and dry myself like usual and throw on some black sweatpants and a t-shirt. I carefully re-bandage my arms and then throw on a orange and black hoodie. I have a week off school for I don't even know why but I might as well do something.

I grab my phone off the charger and open my door, walking to the kitchen to grab something to eat. My stomach grumbles at the thought of food. And again i'm reminded that I haven't eaten for days. As I walk to the kitchen, I pass the common room area and another reminder hits me like a bus.

I had kissed Deku yesterday.

I internally cringed at myself. What did Deku think? What did everyone else think? Do they hate me? Am I weird? Is being gay wrong?

No point in thinking about that, my entire existence is wrong. Everything and anything I do is a pain in the ass. I'm surprised I haven't dropped dead yet.

I get a glass of water and take out a cereal box. I pour some into a bowl and take some milk out of the fridge, pouring that into the bowl too. I sit down and and start eating. I might as well enjoy my last couple of days alive. The voice has actually left me alone for once, probably very happy I was going to finally die. I'm not happy, but I'm not upset either. It's kind of just a mixture of numbness.

I wash my bowl and head back into my room. I need to finish writing my notes. I only have a couple of people left to write for, most of them being teachers. It is  Wednesday today. I think we can wait till Friday to take a swan dive off the roof of the building. I slightly smile, remembering my own words to Deku and now I'll be taking my own advice. If i'm being completely honest. I don't hate Deku. In fact I don't dislike him either. Sure he's a pain in the ass sometimes with all the mumbling and muttering, but he's been with me my entire life. He stuck with me even after everything I did and said to him. I love him. I know, really cheesy I don't think I've said something so cheesy in my life but it's true.

I let out a little laugh as I finish up the last letter. It'll be sad to leave all these extras behind. Maybe our friendships were real but even so, I've done so many horrible things in my life. I don't deserve them. They deserve someone better, someone who is better than me. I'm sure it'll be easy for them to find a replacement. Besides, I'm a villain right?

A small tear slips down my face and I plop down onto my bed. It was just then I realized how truly lonely I was. But I deserve it. This was the universes way of telling me, it was my time to go. It was my time to leave so many people I didn't even know I cared so much about behind. But I still have today and tomorrow to go. I can spend just one more day with these extras.

And I'm gonna make it count.

Izuku's POV:

I was in the middle of a conversation with Todoroki but I just cant help but worry for Kacchan. As I think about Kacchan my face turns bright red and a memory hits me harder than All Might's best punch.

Kacchan has kissed me last night.

"Uhm, Midoriya are you okay? Your very red." I hear Todoroki's monotone voice say. "H-huh? Oh yeah! Sorry, haha, I'm just a little bit lost in thought. What were you saying?" I shake myself out of my thoughts.

"Oh I was just talking and my father. I don't think he's that important for this, what were you thinking about?" He asks.

I hesitate but respond nevertheless, "Oh..I was just thinking about Kacchan. I'm a little bit worried for him. He hasn't been acting like his normal self. We got into an argument but...never mind I probably shouldn't bother you with my none sense. Sorry Todoroki but I have to go! I'll see you later!" I say and hastly leave the classroom.

I felt bad about just leaving Todoroki there but I've got something more important to do. I'll make it up to him by buying him soba later. I quickly make my way to the dorms and up the stairs. I approach Kacchan's dorm. I hesitate for a moment but knock gently. "Kacchan? Are you there?" I hear some shuffling and the door opens a crack. I'm met with red puffy eyes.

Has Kacchan been crying? He was definitely crying. Why was he crying? Is he okay? Was I to harsh with that argument? Maybe I did something wrong. What did I do wrong?

"Are you just gonna stand there and stare nerd?" I hear Kacchan's voice break a little. I look at him concerned. "Oh, sorry. Uhm..can I..can I come in?"

"What do you need to come in here for? Don't you have class?" He grumbles. "Aizawa let us go early, something came up. Can I just please come in?" I plead.

He tch's but opens the door and lets me in. I've never been in Kacchan's dorm before so I let my eyes wander. His dorm is surprisingly neat his walls a pale orange-ish colour and some photos along him wall. I almost let out a gasp as my eyes widen. He has pictures of us when we were little. I thought he hated me? Why does he have pictures of us up?

"Oi. Deku. Stop staring at the pictures. What do you want?" I snap out of my daze. "Oh yeah! I just wanted to check up on you. Are you okay? Do you need anything? I'm sorry for being so harsh during our argument. Is here anything I can do to-"

"Shut up. No there isn't anything you need to do and it's fine. Tch, I don't need your help." He cuts my rambling off. He isn't making eye contact with me. Normally he wouldn't hesitate to have a glaring contest with me. My concern grows.

"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me Kacchan.. I'm here for you." I say inching closer to him. "Tch, I don't need your help nerd. And even if I did need help. You are the last person I'd ask." I could easily tell he was lying. "Kacchan, I've grown up with you, I know when your lying. Just tell me what's wrong." I slightly plead, not wanting to pressure him to much. I just want to know what's wrong.

He mumbles something under his breath that I cant make out. "Kacchan, you need to talk louder I can't hear you."

"I-..I..I cant." He mumbles barely audible, "I don't..I can't explain it to you. I cant.. I cant tell you.."

My confusion grows faster than ever. "What do you mean you cant tell me? You can trust me Kacchan." I have to know what's bothering him so much.

"No! I cant. Im sorry.." He looks anywhere but me. Did Kacchan just apologize? What's so bad he can't tell me. I don't want to pressure him but I really need to know. That is, till my gaze landed on something I'd thought I'd never see in Kacchan's room. Something he had promised me he'd never use again after our argument.

I could tell Kacchan knew exactly what I'd just found. I find myself looking back at Kacchan. I can see a few tears run down his face.

"Kacchan..I thought you had promised me you'd never do it again?" I could feel the tears welling up in my own eyes.

"I'm sorry...I deserved it.." He whispers, his face full of tears.

My heart ached, I just wanted to fix him so badly. To help him, heal him. But how can I do that when he refuses my help?